Catching Up. (Again.)

I know when I list off the stuff I've been doing it won't seem like I've been too busy to blog, but I'm gonna do the round-up anyway.

Much of last week was spent trying to get everything in order for Matt to leave for a three week long trip to Singapore. (Read: I was doing a metric crap-ton of laundry.)

I was also grounding Corwin for his usual offense of not doing his damn homework. Once a quarter, the kid goes rogue and either does it and doesn't turn it in or just doesn't do it. Needless to say, there was some "child management" going on.

Thursday morning, I brought Matt and one of his colleagues to the airport to head to Singapore.

Thursday afternoon, I lived up to my reputation of being the Klutziest Klutz Who Ever Klutzed. I got out of the car at the gas station and managed to slip and fall. Not on ice. No, that would actually be understandable. No, this chick slipped and fell on the damn sidewalk salt used to melt the ice. No ice in sight.

Yeah. I have no idea either.

However, what I do know is that I sprained my left ankle and right wrist, bruised the hell out of my knee, gouged the palm of my left hand and hit my head on the pavement. Because I'm just that clever/stupid/talented/adjective of your choice.

Since then, I've had a fair amount of insomnia - I don't sleep well when Matt's not home. It doesn't help that Angus thinks that 3:30 am is a perfectly reasonable time to play fetch with his sparkly pink puff ball. Of course, last night, there was no puff ball in sight. Just me lying awake from 3 am until I had to get up at 5:30. Shoulda just gotten up and worked.

Yesterday, I got a cortisone shot in the wrist in hopes of alleviating my chronic carpal tunnel numbness and pain. It was kinda freaking to feel the doctor wiggling the needle around in there. And my arm was really weak afterward, so I'm super grateful that Brynn drove me to and from. But I'm not sure the shot's doing any good. It might be because of the sprain. I'll probably try another one and see what happens.

See? Doesn't seem like this should have kept me away from blogging. But it did. Sigh.

Misread of the Day

Today while driving, I passed a sign for an auto place that said FREE INSPECTIONS.

Only I read it wrong.

I thought it said FREE INFECTIONS.

And for about 30 seconds I tried to figure out how that could possibly be a desirable thing.

Yeah...it's been that kind of day.

What? No laugh track?

So, I attempted to put the creamer back in the fridge.

It didn't go well.

I knocked the vat of salsa off the top shelf. Then when I was bending over to pick it up, the creamer bottle fell out, bounced off my head and hit the floor. The flip-top lid broke and creamer spewed everywhere. Brand new bottle, of course.

I sopped it up with a towel then bent over to clean up the mess with a washrag. I slipped a little on the wet floor and caught myself on the fridge door where I managed to simultaneously push the water and ice dispenser levers.

I managed to shoot freezing cold water in my left ear and catch chunks of ice behind the lens of my glasses.

You understand why I was moderately surprised by the lack of sitcom laugh track.

I Miss You, Sweet Boy

Almost 19 years ago, Herne was born - conveniently on my friend Merry's birthday who'd taken in Herne's very pregnant mama. He was the runt of a litter of five - and by far the prettiest of the bunch, though I'm guessing Mer would disagree since she kept his brother Casey.

When he was a kitten we called him Circus Cat. He'd do amazing midair flips when we'd play with him with ribbons and other toys. He played fetch with puff balls and he'd go to the basement every night and drag three or four dirty socks from the laundry bin, all the way up two flights of stairs to lay them at the foot of our bed. He was so tiny that the socks were bigger than he was. He earned the nickname Herne the Hunter for that. We also called him Bunny Boy because he had fur as soft as any rabbit.

Herne has always been a mama's boy. He snuggles with me no matter where I am and especially likes to help me write by laying on my keyboard or my arms or my chest while I'm trying to work, contentedly purring the whole time.

Over the last couple years, he's been sleepier and weaker. He's gone deaf and blind. He navigates the house using the perimeter of the room and what we affectionately refer to as Kitty Sonar. It involves Herne yowling loudly as he wanders around. He'd always make himself known to whoever was on the phone with me, meowing loudly into the mouthpiece. It's an obnoxious sound, but it's one I'm going to miss.

Herne had a stroke today. One minute he was sleeping by me on the couch and the next he was spinning in horrifyingly endless circles, stopping only when the right side of his body would give way. Then, he'd claw to his feet and repeat motions looking more and more confused.

I held him and he snuggled into me and purred, but when he got restless, the same cycle would start again. They boys and I took turns keeping him calm until Matt got home and we took him to the vet.

We ended up having to put him down tonight. I miss him so much already.

Now this is a family I can get behind!

I'm sure you've all seen those trendy stick people family bumper stickers. The school parking lots are full of them at my kids' schools. They're almost always on minivans and SUVs. As a side note, I swear the bulk of the SUVs and minivans in West Michigan are at these two schools. But I digress.

Anyway, I don't have a problem with these stickers (except when the first and last names of the children are on there - that seems like a terrible idea) but it gets a little old after a while. Plus, I'm always stuck behind them in line, and that just makes me crabby, anyway.

However, last week I saw a family sticker that delighted me to no end. I was at the grocery store and parked right next to me was this SUV...sporting the Star Wars Rebel Alliance symbols. I almost wanted to go back into the store, find them and high five them. But stalking, no matter how well intentioned, is never cool. Also it was real cold and starting to snow. But whoever these people are, I adore them.

Love the Obi Wan bumper sticker, too! These are my people. ;)

Riding in Cars with Boys - Part Seventeen

Remember the Bromance conversation? Well, there's more.

After school, a new kid headed toward the car with Killian, Justin and Not-Kevin. He was pretty tall, carried a guitar slung over his shoulder and had the biggest afro I've ever seen outside of the 70s. It was kind of mesmerizing really. His mousy brown hair billowed in the wind, at least six inches above his pasty, scruffy face. They all piled into the car with the new kid in the middle of the backseat.

Me: Um...hi.

New Kid: Hi.

Justin: This broski here is Cory.

Me: Hey Cory. Nice to meet you.

Cory: (nodding, his massive hair bouncing back and forth) Likewise.

Killian: Yeah. Bromigo is gonna teach us how to read guitar tabs, so we can actually play.

Not-Kevin: And start a band.

Me: Sweet. Okay, where to then?

Justin: (nods toward Not-Kevin) Over at Brobama's.

Me: All righty.

I go to back out and look in my rearview mirror. All I can see is Cory's downy soft fro. Hitting the ceiling of my car.

Me: Soooooo, Cory, you're gonna need to duck your head so I can back out.

He scootches down in his seat. His hair is still blocking my entire line of vision.

Me: Uh...yeah. That's not really working for me. I hate to say it, but you're gonna have to hold it down. Sorry about that.

Cory: No problem. Happens all the time.

Not-Kevin (nodding sagely) And that's why we call him Fro-bro Baggins.

And I still couldn't back out because I was laughing too damn hard.

Winners!!! YAY!!!

GRAND PRIZE WINNER

Tara R

2nd PRIZE

Gabrielle J

3rd PRIZE

Kerry

Congratulations!!

We'd like to thank everyone who entered. We were thrilled at the response and are so excited. The above winners will be contacted via email and will need to respond to Jessica (jessica@jessicajarman.com) within three (3) days to claim their prize, otherwise a new winner will be chosen.

Please note - there will also be some consolation prizes awarded from this blog. :)

Congratulations to all the winners!
Jessica, Devon, Bronwyn, Gwendolyn, Kris and Suzanne

Blergh

*WARNING: Whiny post ahead. Proceed at your own risk.*

I can't focus for crap.

I flit from one thing to another like a particularly disinterested toddler.

It's a struggle to finish anything.

I'm exhausted and achy.

I think I have the January Blahs.

I've got stuff to do. Anybody have any suggestions for getting rid of this crap?

It's getting really old.

*End Whine*

Who Wants to Win a Brand New Kindle Fire?

Welcome to 2012! And what better way to celebrate than with a brand new Kindle Fire!

Six sexy TEB authors are coming together with a fabulous giveaway to usher in the New Year! And entering couldn't be simpler.

Just visit each of our blogs beginning January 1st, and leave a comment on the contest post with:

* your name (or user name) and contact email, and
* your top two (2) choices from the author's backlist to kick-start your Kindle library should you win.

Contest will close at Noon ET on Tuesday, January 10, 2012, and a winner will be drawn from all the readers who commented on all six blogs:

Gwendolyn Cease
Suzanne Graham
Bronwyn Green
Jessica Jarman
Kris Norris
Devon Rhodes

The Grand Prize winner will receive a brand new Kindle Fire and two ebooks of their choice from each author!!

Second Prize will be winner's choice of two ebooks from each author's backlist...that's 12 new books!

Third Prize will be winner's choice of ebook from each author's backlist...that's 6 new books!

More surprises and prizes at each blog, so what are you waiting for? The clock is ticking, so Fire up the New Year and you could be the winner!!

We Have a Winner!!!

Hey Everyone!

We've got a winner of Amber Skyze's new book, and that winner is...


...



...


...


Kathryn Merkel!

Congrats, Kathryn!!! Amber will be contacting your shortly. :)