Sunday, February 27, 2011

What happened when the cops pulled us over...

Soooo... on Saturday, I went to a baby shower with Jen Armintrout and our friend Jill. We had to drive through all kinds of back roads with Jen navigating.

Now keep in mind, this involves a whole lot of Jen narration, like:

Jen: That's a meth house.

Jen: See that hill? I'm pretty sure that's where my cousin Christina lives. Except, there's no road to get there, so maybe that's not where she lives.

Jill: That's a meth house.

Jen: If you turn right there - No! Don't turn right there, I was just saying that if you did turn right there, you'd go to my mom's.

Jen: That's a meth house that burned down.

For those of you who are wondering, we were driving through Allegan County - Meth Capital of the US.

Jen: See that curve right there? No, that one. Okay, once I was driving on this road and there was a deer in the road so I stopped my car and the deer put its head all the way inside my window and sniffed around the inside of car and then snorted and wandered away.

Jill: Are you going to tell that story every time you drive down this road? I've heard that story at least forty times.

Jen: Then you should stop going down this road with me.

While they were discussing the deer story, the unmistakable flash of red and blue lights showed up in my rear view mirror. So I pulled over trying to figure out what I'd done to get pulled over. I knew I'd just come to a full stop at a flashing red light, so that wasn't it. But I stopped the car and waited for the cop to reach the car.

Me: Jen, don't say anything. I don't want this to end with the cop asking us to get out of the car.

Jen: Okay.

Me: Hey Jill, can you hand me my purse?

Jen: No! Don't go digging through your purse! The cop might think you're looking for a gun or something.

Me: Okay.

Cop: Good afternoon, Ma'am. How are you?

Me: Um...fine. (Seriously, why do they asked that. It's not like you're going to really say what you're thinking which in my case was, "OHMYGOD! Why did you pull me over? Is this going to take a long time because I have to pee real, real bad.")

Cop: I clocked you at sixty-one miles per hour on Marsh road.

Me: Oh. (staring blankly because I have no idea what the speed limit is there)

Cop: It's forty-five through there.

Me: Oh.

Cop: Where were you going in such a hurry?

Me: A baby shower. I didn't want to be late.

Cop: (glancing at my dashboard clock) What time is the shower?

Me: Four. (it was 3:44)

Cop: Where is it?

Me: Um, I don't really know. I'm not from around here. Jen?

Jen: (looks at me all wide-eyed and crazy) Across from Perigo.

Cop: Okay. I need to see your license and registration.

So I get my license out of my purse and then dig though my glove box for the rest.

Jen: You have too many napkins.

As soon as the officer took my info back to his car, Jen whipped around in her seat to face me.

Jen: Why didn't you lie? You're supposed to say, 'I'm so sorry officer. I had no idea how fast I was going.' You're not supposed to say you knew you were speeding to get to a baby shower?

Me: Maybe I'll get points for honesty?

Jen: Oh, you're gonna get points all right. And WHY did you make me talk to him? I can't be trusted. I almost opened the door and ran up hill, hopped the fence and took off down the airfield to sweet, sweet freedom.

Me: Crap. I hope I don't go to jail.

Jill: Why? Have you got priors?

I cracked up realizing that I was being ridiculous and we were all laughing and thinking a ticket was inevitable since we were all laughing like idiots.

Me: I have to pee.

Jen: Christ, Bron! Why didn't you tell him that. Having to pee is a better reason for speeding than trying to make it to a baby shower on time.

Me: I don't know!

Jill: I can't believe the first time I ride in your car and we get pulled over.

The cop actually let me off with a warning. (Yay, points for honesty!) and we finally made it to the shower while Jen muttered about running away... In fact, her take on what happened is here. Go read! :D

Saturday, February 26, 2011

So it seems Dad was right. Again.

It's no secret that I love to be crafty. Well, one of the things I really enjoy doing is making cards. My dear, darling Brynn got me into it a few years go when she had a stamping party. We don't do it all the time, but when we do, we have a blast and holy cow, you should see the cards Brynn makes. They're mailable works of art!

So Thursday night, after rescheduling since November, I went to her house to get crafty. We knew we were going to need a new craft table, so the plan was I'd head over and we'd go to Sam's Club and pick one up. That part worked just fine. We got to the store, found the one she'd picked out earlier (along with some super yummy cream cheese frosting cupcakes) and checked out. Easy peasy.

We got to Brynn's Tracker and she laid the seats down and tried to get the table into the back. It stuck out through both of the back doors. We turned it on an angle. This time it only stuck out through one of the doors. To be fair, we probably could have gotten it to fit long-way between the front seats...only her back hatch is broken so there was no way to turn the table in the right position to try it.

We decided to tie it to the roof. Only...there was no rope or bungee cords in the car. So I table sat while Brynn ran back inside the store to get something. She came out a while later having made the discovery that Sam's carried neither rope nor bungee cords. o.O

So she headed across the street to the Wal-mart next door, wading though snowbanks and sliding on the ice, while I again table sat. (It was very well behaved.) After a slightly longer wait, Brynn returned victorious with blue nylon cord and a scissors to cut it with. (It's important to point out here, that I would have come back without the scissors and would have had to trudge back again.)

What should have been a thirty minute run to the store was now bordering on an hour and a half. We got the table tied to the roof, and I started to laugh. In my head, I heard my dad's most oft quoted advice, "You can always use a good piece of rope." Brynn, being a boy scout leader, ties waaaaaaaay better knots than I do, but we still got the table home in one piece. She put the remainder of the rope in the backseat, and now she'll always have a good piece of rope handy. And we still got a bunch of cards made and had fun doing it - so go us. :D

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Book Give Away and Interview!

Hey everyone,

The lovely JoJo from JoJo's Book Corner interviewed me. And to celebrate the interview, I'll be giving away several books! Please come over and say hi so I'm not feeling all lonely and derpy. :)

Monday, February 21, 2011


So Matt's still in Russia, but we've been video chatting on skype. Yesterday he told me he'd slipped on some ice on the way back to the hotel and sprained his arm. It was all purple, puffy and generally ugly looking.

Today when I talked to him, he showed me his shiny new cast. Yep. It's busted. One of the HR people from the Russian office took him to the doctor and translated for him. The doctor told his translator to get him some vodka to use as a painkiller... Yes, for real.

However, on the plus side, his medical care including office visit, x-rays, setting and casting the arm cost 263 bucks - all without insurance. For that same care here, with insurance, it would have been well over a thousand dollars of out of pocket expense with the total bill being more than double that.

So I'm looking at you, American health care system, WTF?

In other news, he'll be home in nine more days. I miss my guy.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Dumb. I haz it. Again.

Some of you may remember last summer when some rat bastard kid from Killian's drivers ed class swiped my iPhone from my purse. Well, I'm pleased to say, I finally have a replacement. (Long story short, it would have cost a ridiculous amount of money to replace it before my contract was up.) But anyway, my new phone. I love it so.

One of my favorite aps is ShopShop. It's basically a shopping list. can have multiple lists, so in addition to the grocery list, I have a menu list, a to-do list and a plotting list. It's super handy - I use it everyday. The best part about it is I never forget my shopping list when I'm at the store. Unfortunately, this causes other issues.

For instance, I was talking to Mia the other day while I was at the store. I'd picked up the kitty litter, the furnace filters and the apples, but I knew I need more stuff. I started searching my purse for my phone with my Lists o' Wonder, becoming increasingly more panicked.

Me: Crap! I can't find my phone.

Mia: Oh my gosh! When do you think you had it last? Where's the last place you remember seeing it?

Me: I'm not sure...I know I had it in the car because I called you. I--for fuck's sake!

Mia: What? did you find it?

Me: I'm talking on it.

Mia: Ohhhhhh.

And then we laughed and laughed because we both had the dumb.

Here's the best part. This is not the first time I've done this. I did it a few weeks earlier while talking to Brynn. But as soon as I started to panic, Brynn said, "'re on it." She didn't call me a dumbass...but I think it was implied.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Dean Day!

It's time for the second annual Dean Day Celebration! Like many of my fellow Supernatural fans, I've got thing for Dean. I won't lie, Sam's pretty hot, too. But I'm a Dean girl all the way. Besides, my honey is away in Russia. A-freaking-gain. So, this makes a nice substitute for Valentine's Day! Because it's late, and I'm tired, I'm going to go with a few favorite Dean quotes.

EDIT: Derp! I am a dork. I forgot to mention that to celebrate the wonders of Dean Day, I'll be giving away some ebooks to random commenters!
Sam: What kind of thing likes virgins and gold?
Dean: ...P. Diddy.
Dean: (explaining why he thinks he got out of hell.) I like to think it's because of my perky nipples.
Dean: (to Sam) You see that? That attitude there? That's why I always got the extra cookie.

Agent Henricksen: You think you're funny?
Dean: I think I'm adorable.

Happy Dean Day, everyone! And a special thanks to JoJo for organizing it!

Friday, February 11, 2011

A Bromance - The Best Conversation I've Overheard Lately

For those who follow the Riding in Cars with Boys posts, it should come as no surprise that the boys in question are avid World of Warcraft players. They play in the same guild and communicate via the internet with a program called Ventralo. This means I can hear everything because it comes through the surround sound speakers unless Killian has his headphones on. Thankfully, for this conversation, he did not.


Killian: You mad, Bro?

Justin: Hell yeah, I'm mad, Broski!

Killian: What's your damage, Teddy Brosevelt?

Justin: Blizzard nerfed my fucking Shadow Priest again, Brobama. How the hell am I supposed to do PVP like this?

Killian: Whoa, Broseph Stalin. I got your back.

I can't decide if Broseph Stalin or Teddy Brosevelt is my fave.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Riding in Cars with Boys - Part Nine

So, Killian went to his first concert last week - Devil Driver. Or maybe it's Devildriver. I'm not sure. I just know that they suck. A lot. However, I'm fairly certain my mom didn't think Adam Ant, Billy Idol, Hazel O'Connor and Duran Duran were nearly as good an idea as I did. But I digress.

He went to the concert with Justin (Not-Kevin has far better taste in music) and on the way home from school the next day, they were doing the post game wrap-up.

Justin: What the fuck was with that opening band?!

Me: Who was it?

Justin: I dunno...Cancer Bats. That was it.

Me: Cancer...Bats?

Killian: Yeah. They were horribad. I have three words for you. Canadian. Death. Metal.

Me: What made them identifiably Canadian?

Killian: There was a song about a moose.

Me: Wait. A death metal song about a moose?

Justin: Oh yeah.

Me: Did anyone like them?

Justin: No. But this is Michigan. We'll mosh to anything.

Killian: True story. We're a desperate people.

I couldn't really disagree.

BTW, if you've missed any Riding in Cars with Boys posts and you want to catch up, please go here, scroll down and read from the bottom on up.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Perfect Strangers

I'm super excited. Today's the day my Perfect Strangers story, Dark Sidhe Claimed, comes out with All Romance eBooks!'s a new faery story!

Here's the blurb and my shiny new cover.

Just one little wish, what could possibly go wrong?

Hunted by both the Kings of the Sidhe and the Dark Sidhe, Tama, Princess of the Seelie Court has sought refuge in the human world. When an ill-timed wish by a friend has reveals her location, she knows she has to leave the life she's created.

Unfortunately for Tama, Kier and Rylan, two Dark Sidhe mercenaries, find her first. The attraction between them is explosive, but is a wish and unbridled lust enough for perfect strangers to become perfect mates?