Sunday, January 30, 2011

I don't even...

This is Herne, my little old man cat who'll be 18 on May 11th. He actually fell asleep mid-lick. There was even snoring. I can't stop laughing.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Child, the Medieval Weapons Specialist

We're a Nerf family. I can tell you the differences between the Nerf Longstrike, the Recon and the Raider Rapid Fire CS-35. I'm not entirely convinced this is something I should be proud of, but I live in a house full of people who think nothing of ambushing one another from around corners, on the stairs or from beneath the dining room table, so it's important to know what's going on.

The cats think the guns were designed for them to play hi-tech games of pounce and fetch. It's not unusual for me to wake up in the middle of the night with a cat chasing a little foam dart on top of my bed, or a cat dropping a dart on my face because he wants to play fetch at 3 am.

You cannot imagine the level of unbridled joy experienced in my home when it was discovered that Nerf not only makes every size and shape dart gun imaginable, but has also branched out into melee weapons. Seriously, it was like the second coming around here.

Christmas brought many new Nerf additions into our home. And all of them accompanied Corwin to an overnight birthday party yesterday. He was beyond thrilled when he found a mace for the birthday boy. I dropped off Corwin with the mace, 3 swords, 3 shields, a battle ax, a tomahawk and an apology.

It's not often that I feel the need to beg forgiveness before my child even crosses the threshold of someone's house. But as he bounced from foot to foot babbling about hand to hand combat and the benefits of blades vs. blunt weapons, it seemed necessary. Luckily, Corwin's been BFFs with this kid for the last eight years and he's basically the same make, different model as my kid, so I knew his parents wouldn't be too bent. Still, the kid's mom looked a little relieved when I showed up to pick up Corwin and his weapons cache this afternoon, leaving her kid brandishing his new mace on the stairway. I like to think of it as spreading the joy. Yeah, I know. I'm probably going to hell for okaying that birthday gift.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Time to play catch up, yet again

Just when I think I'm gonna get ahead...I get pulled into a project that sucks all the time from my schedule. But, the important thing is, the tree is FINALLY down! Of course, I have sad, whimpery kittens, but I just remind them of how excited they'll be when it goes up again in the winter. I'm sure they'll stop looking at me with their big sad eyes eventually.

So there is MUCH news. I've been working on a super secret project and I can finally tell people about it! Sometime between Feb 1-13, I'll have a new book releasing with ARe for their special Perfect Strangers project! It's called Dark Sidhe Claimed, and I'm super excited about it!

Here's the blurb:

Hunted by both the Kings of the Sidhe and the Dark Sidhe, Tama, Princess of the Seelie Court has sought refuge in the human world. When an ill-timed wish by a friend has reveals her location, she knows she has to leave the life she's created.

Unfortunately for Tama, Kier and Rylan, two Dark Sidhe mercenaries, find her first. The attraction between them is explosive, but is a wish and unbridled lust enough for perfect strangers to become perfect mates?

And in more awesome publication news. Two of my friends have new books out today!

Abigail Barnette aka Jennifer Armintrout has her very first Steampunk Erotica out today from RP! It's called All Steamed Up: Infernal Devices. It's fantastic and I highly recommend it!

Here's the blurb:
The Two Aces. Victorian London’s most salacious secret, the club is a place where erotic fantasies are played out among clockwork automatons and aether powered machines. Where nothing is off limits and the pleasures are as wicked as the imagination will allow...

Permilia Deering goes to The Two Aces looking for the sexual excitement that she knows she will not find with the man to whom she is affianced, notorious cold-fish Wallace Sterling. On her first visit to the club, she meets the Ace of Spades, a masked stranger who drives her to heights of passion she’s never dreamed possible—and makes her seriously reconsider becoming a mannerly society wife.

When Wallace Sterling first glimpses his fiancĂ©e standing outside The Two Aces, he assumes she’s uncovered his secret identity—the Ace of Spades. But Permilia has no idea that her intended is living a double life, and Wallace worries that he’ll be out of the picture once she gets a taste of what the Ace of Spades can offer her...

And the second book is by my friend, S.W. Vaughn! It's called The Devlin Island Series: Possession, and it's also fantabulous!

Here's the blurb:

Sully Shaw is one of three – a coven of gay male witches on Devlin Island, charged with protecting the place from the ancient gate between worlds, deep in the woods, that sometimes lets evil things escape. Sully’s job is to banish demons and spirits – which works for him, because after his last disastrous relationship, he’d rather not deal with people. Until a gorgeous stranger crashes on his private beach and needs his help.

Troy Landry was just out for a vacation, and maybe a fling, on Devlin Island. What he didn’t bargain for was crashing his boat on the beach, finding a hot naked man who claims to be a witch, and getting possessed by a demon who takes over his body when he falls asleep. The demon can’t be driven out until dawn – so Troy and Sully have to stay awake all night long. Lots of sex helps. But when they start falling for each other, incredible sex might not be enough to overcome Troy’s insecurities, Sully’s past trauma, and a demon bent on releasing its brethren and killing any mortal who stands in its way.

What are you waiting for? Go book shopping! You know you want to!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

This is why my damn tree is still up!

Okay, so we've been trying to take down the tree. It's undecorated and the top portion is off. I'm sick of looking at it, and I want to put my rocking chair back where it belongs.

But...there's this...

Enjoy it girls. The tree is coming down tonight!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

NOOK COLOR WINNER!!!! (and other winners, too!)


We has them!!!!!


Terra Pennington


Miranda (Sweet Vernal Zephyr)




We'd like to thank everyone who entered. We were thrilled at the response and are so excited. The above winners will be contacted via email and will need to respond to Jessica ( within three (3) days to claim their prize, otherwise a new winner will be chosen.

Congratulations to the winners!

Jessica, Devon, Bronwyn, Gwendolyn, Kris, and Suzanne.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

New Year's Resolutions and Other Awesome Stuff.

Well, it's that time of year, and I'm trying to make some resolutions that I can stick to as opposed to failing miserably and wallowing in guilt starting in November when I realize I've failed miserably and have no chance in hell of catching up. My goals are posted over at Writer's Evo.

One of the best resolution related posts I've read in ages is here, by one of my favorite authors, Maggie Steifvater. Really, go read it! It's fantastic!

I have to say I've gotten some of the most amazing reviews lately from a brand new review site that I just LOVE. Okay, I know what you're thinking. Obviously I'm gonna love a review site the loves my books, right? Well, *scuffing toe in the dirt* yeah. But also, no.

Often times when we get reviews, they're just a line or two after a huge rehashing of the plot in which crucial spoilers are given away. And sometimes, despite the rating system, you're left wondering if the reviewer actually liked your book.

Not so at Miz Love & Crew Love Books! These are in depth reviews with no spoilers, a discussion of what worked and what didn't and snippets of some of the reviewers favorite bits. I love me some Miz Love & Crew. If you have a book you'd like reviewed, please don't hesitate to drop them a note. These reviewers are passionate about books.

I'd like to share some of my shiny new reviews! Cuffed and Dangerous. Just Right. Maggie's Mates and Immortal Curse. (Yay, I made her cry with the last one! :D)

Monday, January 3, 2011

Who Wants a Nook Color?

Welcome to 2011!

The holiday insanity is past (I hope) and it's time to relax. What better way to do that than with a good book...or twelve? The only thing that would make it better is reading them on a brand new Nook Color, right?

Then, have I got the contest for you!

Six sexy authors of erotic romance are coming together with a fabulous giveaway to usher in the New Year! And entering couldn't be simpler.

Just visit each of our blogs beginning January 3rd, and leave a comment on the contest post with:

* your name (or user name) and contact email, and
* your top two (2) choices from the author's backlist to kick-start your Nook library should you win.

Contest will close at Noon ET on Tuesday, January 11, 2011, and a winner will be drawn at 1:11pm ET from all the readers who commented on all six blogs:

Gwendolyn Cease

Suzanne Graham

Bronwyn Green

Jessica Jarman

Kris Norris

Devon Rhodes

The Grand Prize winner will receive a brand new Nook Color and two ebooks of their choice from each author!

Second Prize will be winner's choice of ebook from each author's backlist!

Third Prize will be winner's choice of an available print book personalized and signed by the author!

More surprises and prizes at each blog, so what are you waiting for? The clock is ticking, and when it comes up all ones, you could be the winner!!

Here are the all important details:

* In order to be eligible for the drawing, you must leave a comment at each of the six blogs with your email address and choice of two books. We're sorry, but anyone who misses a blog or forgets to leave their contact info will be disqualified.

* All comments must be posted by 12:00 Noon, ET, on January 11th.

* Valid entry comments must be in response to the official Contest post on each blog, although we also welcome comments on other posts, so feel free to poke around!

* The Nook will be shipped directly from the store to the winner's house. Ebooks will be emailed separately to the winner.

* Winner must respond to Jessica within three days or an alternate winner will be announced.

I will also be drawing a consolation prize from non-winning entries on that day to win their choice of ebook from my backlist. Just wander over to my website to check them out!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Will the real Matt Green please stand up?

Last week (I think) I blogged about the other Bronwyn Green and her mis-delivered tea towels. Well, the mistaken identity cloud is still hanging over our house - only this time, it involves my husband.

To tell this story, we have to travel to the summer of 1994. Don't be'll be fun. Unless, like me you were huge and pregnant suffering the hottest, most humid summer in decades in a house with no air conditioning. In that case, the memories will be painful. Extremely painful.

Anyway, in August of 1994, I started getting phone calls from a branch of the military.They were looking for a Matt Green who was AWOL. I explained that while my husband's name was indeed Matt Green, he'd never served in any branch of the military. They asked if he was a relative. I said, no and pointed out that Green is a fairly common name and that it was conceivable that there would be more than one in the state of Michigan.

The caller apologized, thanked me for my time and promptly called back the very next day. These calls went on daily for weeks, escalating to two and three times a day. We repeated the whole call. Every. Single. Time. I asked to speak with someone in change. I explained my situation and asked that our number be stricken from their list of potential contacts. The man I spoke with assured me it would be taken care of. I got another call three hours later.

I eventually stopped answering when I saw their number on the caller ID. Then they got tricky and blocked their number, and I was stupid enough to answer.

I told the person in no uncertain terms that my husband had never been in the military, had no plans to join and to stop calling me because the missing Matt Green wasn't here. Then it got really annoying.

Military Person: Well, do you know where he is?

Me: How would I know where he is? I don't know him!

Military Person: You're probably related.

Me: I'm pretty sure I know who I'm related to.

Military Person: It's common for family to hide AWOL family members. If we discover you've done this you can go to jail.

Me: You know what? I'm nine months pregnant. There's no air conditioning in my house and it's 97 degrees with almost 100% humidity. I'm already in jail! I'm hot, I'm sweaty and I'm now I'm enraged. My husband is not the guy you're looking for. We don't know the guy you're looking for so quit calling my fucking phone.

They did.

Now, you'd think this would be a happy ending, but nay, my friends, you'd be wrong.

About two years later, we started getting calls and letters from Indiana's family court system. Apparently, our friend Matt skipped out on his child support.

I patiently explained that there was more than one Matt Green and that mine wasn't the one they were looking for.

Family Court Person: You don't know that.

Me: I beg your pardon?

Family Court Person: You don't know that for sure. They could be his kids.

Me: Uh, I do know that. We've been married for seven years.

Family Court Person: Pfft. That doesn't mean anything.

Me: Trust me. The only kids my husband has is the two year old swinging a baseball bat in my living room and the one who's currently using my bladder as a trampoline. You've got the wrong guy.

Family Court Person: Men cheat.

Me: Oh. My. God. These are issues for you to work out with your therapist. I want to speak to your manager.

She hung up.

But the calls continued...and became more diverse.

Apparently, our guy Matt defaulted on a truck loan and credit card bills. A couple times a month, we'd get calls from Ford, and three different credit card companies. This went on for about a year, and then all was quiet. We figured he'd either gotten his act together...or was in jail. We enjoyed that year.

Then we made the mistake of financing some furniture from a local store. Well, financing the furniture wasn't a mistake...but getting it from the same store where the other Matt Green had an account certainly was. The collection calls started almost immediately. Hell, our first payment wasn't due yet and we were getting called.

Then calls from the hospital started. Now considering we'd had a child without any health insurance that year, we had some hospital bills we were paying on. Well, it turns out that the other Matt Green's wife ALSO had a child that year. Only they weren't paying on their bills. Thankfully, her name isn't Bronwyn, so it made it a little easier to convince the hospital that they had the wrong family. However, that didn't stop the bills in the mail.

So fast forward a few years and I'm flipping through the kids' school directory and who do I see listed, but Matt Green and his lovely wife and their two children. I was beyond tempted to introduce myself and ask if he ever got his finances straightened out, but I decided that would be rude. By the time the next school directory was out, they'd moved from the school.

Things were quiet until earlier this year when I got a call from another auto dealer. Yep, you guessed it. He defaulted. Again.

And the guy who called was a total jackass.

Guy: I need to speak to Matt Green.

Me: I'm sorry, he's at work. Can I help you?

Guy: Yeah. You can tell him to pay his damn bill.

Me: Excuse me? What bill?

Guy: For the Lexus.

Me: I think you have the wrong guy. We don't have a Lexus.

Guy: Well, do you have a son who defaulted on a car loan?

Me: I have sons, but neither of them are driving.

Guy: Well does your husband have another son?

Me: No.

Guy: Are you sure? He would have been born in 1976.

Me: Nope. It's not possible.

Guy: Lots of guys have kids their wives don't know about.

Me: Look, unless my husband has access to a freaking time machine, it's not his kid. It's physically impossible. I'd like to speak to your manager.

Fast forward to this past Friday. We got a call from the collections department of our bank. Panicking that someone had gotten a hold of our debit card and drained our account, I called back. The person I spoke with had no idea why we were called. She said everything was fine with our account, but then she put me on hold to check a few things.

When she came back, she apologized and said we'd been called by mistake. It seems the other Matt Green is now a customer at our bank and his account is (surprise, surprise) overdrawn.


I have this fantasy where he changes his name...or my husband does. But so far, neither of them seems willing to go along with it.