Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Riding in Cars with Boys - Part Nineteen

Killian and Justin have been anxiously awaiting (read: obsessively checking the calendar and complaining that they're bored) the arrival of Diablo 3. So, I took them to the release, dropped them off and did last minute shopping for Corwin's DC field trip.

Now, there's something a little disconcerting about grocery shopping at 11 pm. The stockers all look vaguely pissed off that you're daring to take food off shelves they've just stocked. And there are four classes of fellow shoppers: the parents with exhausted, screaming kids in jammies, the sleep-deprived/angry glarers, the zombies, and the people who are coming in mid-partying for refills on booze and chips. There's a surprising amount of these guys on a Monday night.

After I finished getting important supplies like rain ponchos and salt and vinegar pringles and sour gummy worms to be eaten on the bus, I drove back to the video game store and picked up Killian and Justin from their Diablo 3 shopping adventure.

Killian: (caressing the Diablo 3 box) Loookkk - it's so pretty.

Justin: Must install now.

Killian: (looking around at the bags) You went to Meijer? Did you get us anything?

Me: No, I didn't get you anything. I had to get Corwin's field trip stuff.

Justin: Don't you know better than to go shopping at night? At Meijer? There are creepy people there, man. Creepy people.

Me: Yeah. I ran into a couple asshats in the parking lot on the way out. But meh. As long as no one steals my purse and the iPad, we're good. I'm in the middle of a really good book.

Justin: No worries there. No one else can lift your purse.

Killian: Yeah. It's like Thor's hammer.

Justin: You can fight crime with that bitch.

Killian: Just swing it around and WHAP! Instant unconsciousness. 

Justin: (makes whipping through the air sounds and mimics swinging an imaginary purse around) Or death.

Killian: Hey I bet you can fly with that thing.

Me: What?

Killian: You know how Thor swings Mjölnir around and when he let's go it flies off and clobbers someone, and when he hangs on it drags him through the air? You know, it's how he travels.

Me: Yeah...

Justin: Right! You can do that with your purse! (more sounds and mimicking) You can be slightly more badass than Mary Poppins.

Me: Wait. Only slightly more badass?!

Justin: Dude, you're using a purse to fly.

Killian: (shrugs) It's no Mjölnir.

So yeah. I'm apparently only slightly more badass than Mary Poppins. 

Good to know.


Susilien said...

Only Slightly more! So sad.
Honestly you should be considered much more, after all you went shopping during creepy hour all by yourself.

So will you be car pooling for the younger son soon? When this batch graduates, we will need a new bunch for you to tell us about in Riding in Cars with Boys.

Chris said...

That should be your new tagline! On all your business cards! :D

I've lost way too much of my life to Diablo and D2. NOT touching D3.

Donna said...

Not wishing to be rude, but the visual has me choking on my coffee.

In a most delightful way, of course!

Kris Norris said...

OMG!!! When he says it's like Thor's hammer... I freaking pissed myself. We just watched Thor again last night... cause yeah, we're obsessed.

I can so see you swinging that thing around... however... the boys have obviously missed your more deadly weapon... those 2 friggin' sticks you use to keep your hair up! I don't know how on earth you do that... you twist, stick them in and it's bloody perfect. I swear you use them as ninja stars!!!! seriously... that's how you can calmly shop at creepy hour.

love these boys!

April Riley said...

OMG!!! Your boys are a trip! I thought Derek was funny.

Unknown said...

Only slightly more than Mary Poppins? *shakes head*
I'm glad I wasn't drinking my coffee when reading this. :)

Jenny Trout said...

You need to "Practically bad ass in every way" on your promo.

Tess Grant said...

I think a flying purse is pretty badass. But I'm no teenage boy. Guess they're hard to impress these days.

SusanR said...

LOL! Love the boys!

Lisabet Sarai said...

So have you tried it yet? (flying, I mean)

Great vignette. And I know what you mean about grocery stores late at night. Creepy with a capital C.

Aisling Weaver said...

Oh. My. God.


That is just too fucking funny! And I am sooooo lucky I wasn't drinking anything!!