Things That Piss Me the Hell Off

First off, I apologize for being a bad blogger - I've been sick with a cruddy cold complements of my kids, but I figured no one wanted to listen to me whine about being sick. Hell, I don't want to listen to me whine about being sick.

However, I'm about to have a rant. An epic rant.

On January 14th, Phoebe Price, a high school student from Massachusetts hanged herself after suffering three months of intense bullying from classmates.

Phoebe and her family recently emigrated to the US from Ireland and she began attending South Hadley High School. You can read the whole horrible story here. Actually, it's not the whole story - only Phoebe knows that and clearly, it was enough to kill her.

From all accounts she was tormented in classrooms, in the library and on the way home from school. And if that wasn't enough, they continued the harassment over Facebook, Twitter, and Craigslist. Good to know those kids had all their bases covered. There's nothing better than organized abuse. Well done, kids. These same kids, btw, have left hateful messages on Phoebe's memorial page on Facebook. Way to keep it classy, kids.

Even more spectacular is the mom of one of the bullies. She blames the victim for starting it. Right. Let's blame the dead girl. I just love the blame the victim mentality. Furthermore, she says that her daughter isn't responsible for Phoebe's death because her daughter didn't physically assault Phoebe - only called her names. Yeah, that makes it so much better. We all know that psychological abuse is so much easier to take than physical abuse. Way to be an awesome parent, lady.

Supposedly, this school as an anti-bullying policy. I'm guessing it didn't work all that well since other students have dropped out of the school because of abuse aimed at them. Phoebe's mom and other kids' parents called begging the school for help. A couple kids were suspended, but that was it. Obviously, it didn't do shit to quell the harassment. According to the articles, teachers and administrators knew exactly what was going on and witnessed a large amount of the bullying. They. Did. Nothing. Witnesses have come forward to say that on the last day of Phoebe's life, a teacher watched kids harass her in the school library. Watched it and let it continue.

What. The. Fuck?!

Nine of the bullies are being indicted for driving Phoebe to her death. Good.

However, none of the teachers or administrators are being called out on allowing it to happen. Not a one. I think that's bullshit. Adults are supposed to protect kids - especially, adults in an educational setting. I wish the D.A. would revamp the charges to include teachers and administrators.

I know that bullying has always been a part of school. I've seen it happen and I've had it happen to me a time or two. But that doesn't make it okay. Ever.

Ultimately, Phoebe is the one who made the choice to end her life, but I can't help but think that this situation might have had a different outcome if she'd had some support. I'm not talking about her family - they tried. I'm talking about adults that allowed this behavior to go virtually unchecked. I'm guessing that the internet bullying would have been out of their jurisdiction, but they could have done something about what was taking place in the school itself.

No matter how this ends, Phoebe will still be dead and her family will still be miserable. However, my hope is that by calling national attention to this horror, that kids will think twice about tormenting another kid and that school officials will be swift to act on behalf of those being bullied.

We have a winner!

Corwin picked the winner of the Just Right contest!

Big congrats go out to s7anna - she won copies of both versions of Just Right!

Thank you so much to everyone that entered!

Birthday Party Wrap-up and Other Bits of Randomness

For those of you who have been wondering if Corwin's birthday party guests made it through the night alive, the answer is: barely.

They didn't got to bed until after 1am. No big deal - it's a birthday party. However, the little shites woke up at 5:something am and stayed awake. Not only did they stay awake, but they woke up everyone in the house repeatedly. Apparently keeping noise to an acceptable level required far too much effort. One of the kids was (understandably) surly and didn't take kindly to my annoyance with them. He pouted, said I was mean and they could do whatever they wanted because it was a birthday party. I told him that that actually, he couldn't because it was my house. He informed me that it wasn't my house, it was my husband's house. Corwin just looked at him, shook his head and said, "Dude, you so shouldn't have said that."

A lengthy discussion ensued.

Before I brought the kids home, I stopped at Starbucks and got some desperately needed coffee. Isaac, the surly kid, wanted coffee, too. I told him that I wasn't about to reward him for being rude, and that if he was tired it was his own fault. He sulked for the entire twenty-five mile drive to his house. Apparently, he was still pissed at me the next day because he announced to Corwin's entire art class that I'm racist.

Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? Corwin, ever one to stand up for truth and my honor, yelled that I wasn't and kicked him. Now, I'm not particularly violent, but I kinda want to kick this kid myself. Little jerk.

In other non-annoying child news, there are a couple contests going on right now. Yesterday's post involves a joint contest with me and Paige Tyler. And the super awesometastic Chris is giving away a copy of my latest release, Immortal Curse on her equally super awesometastic blog.

And, last but not least, we've been writing open letters to our muses all week at Writer's Evolution, come check it out!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Three Bears' House

In January of this year, my book, Just Right, came out from Resplendence Publishing. It's an erotic retelling of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. A friend sent me an email and said, "You've got to see this!" along with a link. So I clicked the link and ended up on Paige Tyler's blog only to discover that she was about to release an erotic retelling of Goldilocks of and the Three Bears. And if that wasn't enough of a surprise, her book was also called...(drum roll, please)...Just Right.

Fwuh? My mouth dropped open, and I blinked at the screen for a second. There was a moment of NFW! Then I just cracked up, because seriously, what are the odds? I mean, there have been other Goldilocks stories - in fact, my friend Tia Fanning wrote one. But the fact that Paige and I managed to do it at nearly the same time and name it the same freaking thing was pretty amazing!

Now we could have been cranky that we had releases so close together for books of the same name and similar story, or we could celebrate the fact that we both came up with a good idea at the same time. We decided to celebrate!

Paige and I are going to be giving one lucky winner a copy of each version of Just Right!

But first, let's find out a little bit about Paige.

1. What gave you the idea to do a retelling of Goldilocks and the Three Bears?
When I first came up with the idea for the story, it was just that, a very vague
idea. I knew I wanted to write a story about girl who gets spanked by multiple guys,
but I wasn't sure what the plot was going to be. Then, I saw a call for submissions
by a publisher looking for a hot, sexy take on traditional fairy tales and an idea
immediately began to take shape. I could take the girl who gets spanked by multiple
guys and turn them into Goldie and the Three Werebears!

As it turned out, I didn't give JUST RIGHT to the publisher who had put out the call
for submissions because I was lucky enough to sign with Ellora's Cave in the
meantime, so I gave the book to my editor there instead!


2. How did you get into writing? Did you always want to be a writer?

I have! I had an amazing creative writing teacher in high school who encouraged
me, but I kind of took the long way around and didn't actually pursue it seriously
until five years ago. I always enjoyed reading hot, sexy stories and while I was
checking out some eBooks, I said to myself, hey, I could do that. So, I sat down at
the computer and wrote my first sexy romance, SAMANTHA AND THE DETECTIVE.
It's about a spunky reporter who is determined to poke her nose into a police
investigation and a hunky detective who can't stand reporters. As you can imagine,
that makes for some sparks between the two - and some blushing cheeks!


3. Can you tell us what you're currently working on?

In addition to a sexy new paranormal romance which I'm really psyched about, I'm
working on a hot Naughty Nooner for Ellora's Cave, which are their free reads.
I'm also working on the second book for my Modern Day Vampires Series, which is
available from Whiskey Creek Press Torrid. The outline is completely finished on
that one and I just have to go back and flesh out the details. It features the hero
and heroine from the first book, Vampire 101, picking up where that one left off!

4. Any other fairy tales you'd like to retell?

There are so many great fairy tales out there! I think Beauty and the Beast and
Sleeping Beauty would definitely be fun. Cinderella and The Little Mermaid, too!
There are all sorts of possibilities there!

Here's Paige's blurb and sexy cover art:

The sexy tale of Goldie and the three werebears When Goldie Lockwood gets lost hiking and comes upon an isolated cabin, little does she know it belongs to three hot and hunky werebear brothers. The guys aren’t thrilled to discover Goldie ate their food and slept in their beds. Not wanting to go to jail, she suggests the men punish her for her naughty misdeeds—with an arousing round of spanking.

Goldie loves getting spanked and decides that after having her bottom warmed, she needs a little sex to make the night complete. The only question is whether she’s going to sleep with one of the brothers—or all of them.

Paige has a great trailer for her version of Just Right. And if you don't want to wait for the contest to end on Monday the 29th, you can pick up your own copy of Paige's book here. You can also visit her website for more great info about all of her books and her blog.

Now...on to the contest. I bet you're wondering how you can win both versions of Just Right. Well, it's super easy.

First, you need to read Paige's excerpt and answer a question here on this blog. Then, you have to visit Paige's blog where she has a brief interview with me and answer a question there about my excerpt. Only people who answer both questions are eligible. See? Super easy.

Okay...here's my question. Who's the second brother mentioned in Paige's excerpt?

Pls to shoot me now. Kaithxbai.

Oh my freaking God. I have no idea what I was thinking. None.

So today, we went to my nephew Nolen's first birthday party, and much adorableness was had. Several hours of babies (3) toddlers (2) and teenagers (also 2) and all the assorted parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It was fun, but I needed a nap afterward.

Then we got home just in time for Corwin's birthday party.

For some unfathomable reason, when Corwin asked if he could have an overnight birthday party and invite The ADHD Triplets, I said, Sure, honey. Sounds like a fab idea.

What.
The.
Fuck.
Was.
I.
Thinking?!

Seriously, I need my damn head examined. Or perhaps electroshock therapy.

Okay, so they're not triplets, and only two of them are related, but I've come to realize that children multiply exponentially. So if you have one kid, you've actually got one kid. If you have two kids, it feels more like four. There are currently five kids in my house...actually, let's call it four because Killian is staying far, far away from the other four.

Now, I have math fail in a big way, but multiplied exponentially, it feels like there are thirty-two freaking twelve and thirteen year olds in my damn house right now, and they're wild little buttheads. My husband just walked out here and looked at me and said, "I thought you loved me." But if I have to suffer, so does he.

The noise is deafening as they race up and down the stairs (hardwood, no carpet or padding) and they just asked me if they could sled down the stairs in their sleeping bags. I've been pegged so many times in the head with nerf darts that I've lost count. There's no volume control on any of them and while I like a 'your mom' joke as well as the next chick, if I hear that phrase one more time tonight, I'll lose it. I'm seriously considering drugging the cupcakes.

Behold the awesome nerfness. It's all rapid firey goodness. The kittens are in heaven chasing down the evil foam invaders while the boys are playing "close quarter combat" in my upstairs hallway. You know...I'm pretty sure my aunt is still all about the valium. I'm feeling a visit coming on - just not sure if I'm grinding it up as sprinkles on the frosting or keeping it for myself...

So soon?

I'm not at all sure how it's possible, but my baby is 13 today. *sob* Corwin is a great kid, wildly creative, talks more than any five people I know, is a brilliant artist, and has a sweet, gentle soul with a soft spot for animals, robots, swords and nerf weaponry.

This is my mom chasing Corwin...pretty much how we all spent his early years. He's got his blankie that I made him and his little froggie romper...which I also made him. (Before I discovered erotic romance and became surgically attached to my computer, I was attached to my sewing machine.)

That's Me, Killian and Corwin forever ago. Killian's all serene and relaxed and Corwin is barely restrained. You'll note that moppy, floppy hair? That's because he wouldn't sit still long enough for a haircut. We called this style "Christopher Robin on acid." (Yes, that's an awful picture of me. I'm the least photogenic person on the planet. Deal.)


This is Corwin on the shores of Lake Superior a few years ago. I can't wait to bring them up there again, this summer.

In other bloggy news, I've posted a character interview of Ian...and also Meaghan of Immortal Curse over at the Writer's Evolution Blog. I'd love it if you stopped by. :)

And Brynn Paulin has a fantastic post about Boys, Twilight and Romance Novels over at her blog today. It's a great read!

A Special Day

In addition to being St. Patrick's Day (I'm going to assume my sister, Cait, is already at the pub in her shiny new Welsh Drinking Team t-shirt from yours truly) it's also our mom's birthday.

The mom-lady is truly awesome. She's raised five mostly sane kids, has her RN degree, her BS in philosophy and psychology and her masters and Ph.D. in psych, too. She's also an accomplished knitter (seriously, you should see the stuff she makes) and seamstress, gardener and potter. She's also funny as hell and one of my best friends.

Before you think I'm waxing too poetic, I will tell you she is the most absentminded of all absent minded professors. She's made quiche with spearmint, mistaking it for parsley, she's washed clothes in maple syrup instead of laundry soap because she got distracted, she's taught class in two different shoes...I could go on.

Mostly, I just want to say Happy Birthday, Mama. You mommed me good.


This is my mom, her younger sister and my Grandpa - all dolled up for Easter.


Being ridiculously cute on her trike. Yeah...still bitter that Cait got that hair instead of me.

My poor grandpa - can you imagine having four little girls? Yeah, me neither. Mom-lady's the oldest in the very back.

Here she is knitting. No shock there. You can see the finished sweaters in this post - she four of them for her and her sisters.
Yeah, it's another picture with curlers. I think the only reason is 'cause it was the 60s. And yes, that would be me...and my bother Tim.

This is mom and my brothers Martin, Andrew (he's the one that looks like Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes...acted like him too) and Caitlin in my high school bedroom. Yes, it's puke pink. I went through a Molly Ringwald phase. Don't judge me!

Immortal Curse is out today!

I'm happy to announce that my fifth release with Resplendence Publishing is out today! Immortal Curse is the first book in the Witch Way series with more to follow later this year. And it's my fourteenth release overall, which all things considered, is pretty damn good!

And I'm being interviewed over at the Salt Lake City Examiner - please stop by and leave a comment so I'm not all lonely and stuff. :)

Here's the Blurb:

Cursed by a witch, Ian O’Meara has been trapped between the world of the living and the spirit realm for the last hundred and fifty years. Annoyed by having his eternity interrupted by amateur ghost hunters, he reaches through the veil to Emma Boulton knowing she can see and hear him even if the others can’t. When he discovers she can also feel him, he decides Emma is the most exciting thing to happen to him in the last century. Suddenly, escaping his miserable curse isn't quite so appealing.

Much to her dismay, Emma has been able to see ghosts ever since she was a child. Most of the time she ignores them, but Ian makes that all but impossible. With his dark, good looks and his brooding personality, he’s a gothic novel hero come to life...so to speak. She knows she should help him toward the light, but the only place he seems to be interested in is her bed. Falling in love with the charming spirit is all too easy, but is a future together possible between the living and the dead?

And an excerpt:

Emma Boulton let herself sink beneath the surface of the steaming water, hoping the heat of the bath would ease the tension from her neck and shoulders. On a good day, teaching high school level English was difficult. On a day like today, it was hell on earth.

Amber, one of her students, was back in school after having missed several days to attend her grandmother’s funeral. Unfortunately, the spirit of said grandmother decided to come to class with Amber. Once the old woman had figured out Emma could see her, she’d spent the entire day in her room, throwing markers, fiddling with the window blinds and dropping books.

Only one student had caught sight of the spirit, but she’d wisely put her head down and closed her eyes. Normally, not paying attention in class was an instant detention, but Emma wasn’t about to send her to the principal’s office. Hell, if she could have gotten away with putting her head down on the desk and ignoring it, she would have done the same thing. It wasn’t that she was afraid of ghosts, per se. But they were dead and the dead belonged on the other side—instead of staying here and throwing spit wads at the living.
Emma had stayed until even the cleaning crew had left the building and tried to convince Amber’s grandmother to move on. It had taken several long hours, but eventually the old woman crossed over.

Gripping the rim of the claw-foot tub, Emma pulled herself up to the surface and wiped the water from her eyes. She opened them, and a scream caught in her chest. A tall and decidedly transparent man leaned against her sink.

Dressed as he was in a black suit, complete with a long frock coat, he looked like an antique photograph come to life. Shaggy, dark brown hair drooped across his forehead, and he pushed it aside. Deep blue eyes watched her intently.

“For fuck’s sake,” she was finally able to mutter.

“Language, Miss Boulton.”

She grabbed a towel and quickly stood to wrap it around herself. Pointing at the door, she said, “Out. Out of my bathroom. Out of my house. Out of this plane of existence, already.”

A dark eyebrow rose. “I’d love to. Really, I would.” An Irish accent colored his words, and his deep voice wrapped her in tingling warmth. “However, I’m not leaving until you convince your harridan of a sister and her equally obnoxious companion to leave.”

“What?”

“Your sister.” He spoke slowly as though he thought she were an idiot. “Is in my schoolhouse. With her friend—the girl with red hair. They’re not listening.”

Realization sank like a stone in her stomach. “The abandoned schoolhouse on eighty-fourth street.”

“The same. They have an Ouija board.” Disdain dripped from his voice. “A pink Ouija board.”

She was going to kill Meaghan. And her friend, Rowan. She’d told them time and time again to stay away from there, but they didn’t listen. Now, she had to deal with a pissed off ghost.

“Look, I’m sorry they disturbed you, but they really don’t mean any harm.”

“I don’t care. I want them out.”

She sighed. Meaghan wanted nothing more than to see the same spirits Emma did, but it wasn’t where her gift lay. She was a seer—not a medium. Of course, Emma heartily wished she wasn’t a medium at the moment.

Tightening the towel around herself, she walked past the apparition. Just as she was about to pass through the bathroom door, he moved in front of her, simply appearing there in that annoying way ghosts had. Her next step carried her directly through his body, but instead of the icy cold that normally accompanied spirit contact, her body flushed with heat. She whirled to look at him, her surprise mirrored perfectly on his face.

“I can feel you,” he whispered, sounding as shaken as she felt.

New stuff to look at

The awesometastic Janna awarded me with the Gnome Approved Sexy Blog award! Thanks Janna!



And...I got new cover art! Immortal Curse will be out from Resplendence Publishing on Tuesday, March 16th!

It's a ghost story based on a visit I made to a local abandoned schoolhouse with my friends Kelly and Jen.

I went with Kelly around midnight on Halloween, 2009 and Jen a few days later.

Here are a few

pictures from each visit.

Lies, Lies, Lies and a Couple of Truths

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Bald Face Face Liar Contest!

Here's the scoop:

1.) I love cowboys. (Lie) I know people love 'em, but I'm so not that girl. Now, I've read a few books by some specific authors (they know who they are) who wrote stories that sucked me right in despite the cowboy element. But I just don't see the attraction. I also don't understand the appeal of the sheik or the Greek tycoon. They baffle me.

2.) I'm the oldest of eight kids. (Lie) Technically, I'm the oldest of five kids (well, seven if you count my stepbrothers) however, my husband is the youngest of eight.

3.) I've had my appendix out. (Lie) Nope...not this chick. I have had my tonsils out though.

4.) I sang in a garage band when I was a teenager. (Truth) Yes, indeed. I was a proud member of the 80s New Wave band, Rebell and the Ions along with the illustrious Margaret Yang. (Put it together and it spells Rebellions - we were clever and also freaking awesome - lol.)

5.) I've dyed my hair purple. (Lie) Alas, there was no purple hair for me. There was some red that went a little wrong and turned pinkish.

6.) I can drive a tractor. (Truth) I know you're all thinking...WTF?! But, it's true - I can also bale and haul hay, milk cows (hand and machine), help deliver calves and *full body shudder* assist (by assist I mean hold stuff...not shove stuff) in the artificial insemination of poor, poor cows. (They were robbed - the cows, I mean. Seriously, pregnant without the fun part? Not fair.) When I was growing up, both sets of grandparents had farms and there were chores (and cows) galore. These days, both farms are gone. The small one went to my cousin and the big one was parceled up and sold to a developer building McMansions. In one of my favorite spots on the land, there's now an uglyass house with a private "road" that-honest-to God reads, "Dale Earnhardt Memorial Drive." Sigh... (As I'm sure is apparent, I like NASCAR as much as I like cowboys...actually, I think I like cowboys more...)

7.) I was arrested for civil disobedience. (Lie) Now, I did get my fair share of detentions in high school for protesting the dress code and other sexist bullshit, and I have attended a few protests as an adult, but no arrests. But I can't tell you how delighted I am that so many of you figured me for getting arrested. That's awesome! :D

It looks like no one got both answers, but I'm feeling generous tonight, so everyone who got a correct answer gets the ebook of her choice.

So...the winners are: Julia, Anny, Genella, Devon, Charlotte (who almost had it!) and Danielle.
(please drop me a note at bronwyn@bronwyngreen.com and let me know what book you'd like and in what format.)

The Day in Which I Will Live in My Car

No, I'm not protesting...not yet, anyway. I am however thinking about parking my ass in front of the principal's office to complain about this ill conceived Fog Delay, though.

This is how my day is going...

5am - Drag sorry ass out of bed after having bizarre dream where Brynn, Alyssa Milano (WTF?!) and I were eating fried chicken and Alyssa and I went out on a beer run. A.) Eating meat off bones makes me squidgey. B.) I hate beer. C.) Alyssa Milano? Really? I mean, she's adorable and all, but yeah...I don't even know where to go with that.

5:45am - Drag children's sorry asses out of bed for showers and school.

6:50am - Stumble out to the car, drive to pick up car pool kid whilst listening to Corwin (youngest son) ramble incessantly about a zombie killing video game he hopes to design one day - including a treatise on the topics of weaponry and bonus attacks. Meanwhile, I'm silently hoping that some day he'll stop talking long enough to actually create said game and be able to market it without people saying "OHMYGOD just stop talking for five minutes!" like Killian (oldest son) demanded this morning.

7:15am - Pick up Justin (car pool kid) after driving through moderate to heavy fog while listening to Killian and Justin bitch about the PLAN test (precursor to the ACT) that they have to take today. They apparently don't enjoy filling in bubbles - go fig.

7:35am - Arrive at school to a nearly deserted parking lot. But the boys insist that it's because the seniors don't have to be there until 11, so I wander on my merry way through the fog to bring Corwin to the elementary school. Then my phone rings, it's Killian telling me that there's a two hour "Fog Delay." Are you fucking kidding me? No...no, he's not.

7:45am - Arrive back at the high school to pick up Killian and Justin. (Please note, we've had WAY worse fog than this and have never had a delay. Idiots.)

8:00am - Arrive at the elementary school to drop off Corwin.

8:10am - Arrive back home with Killian and Justin who are going to kill time playing on the x-box.

8:30 am - Receive email notice from the school about the fog delay. Really? Seriously? Now you tell us?!?!?! Fuckwits.

9:15am - Leave home to bring them back to school.

9:35am - Drop them off at school.

9:45am - Receive text from Killian that school will letting out at 12:45 instead of 2:30.

9:46am - Swear profusely while driving alone in my car likely looking like I'm batshit crazy.

10:06am - Stop at Starbucks for a well-deserved venti cinnamon dolche latte.

10:15am - Arrive at home, drink said coffee and try to squeeze in as much work as possible including both of the blogs (although, this is more therapy than anything else right now).

11:00am - Start supper in the crockpot.

11:22am - Receive text from Killian in which he thinks I should take him, Justin and Mitchell (afternoon car pool kid) to iHop for lunch.

11:23am - Ponder infanticide.

11:34am - Send Killian a text that says "Bite me." Then another that says "Maybe." Because damn it, now iHop sounds really good.

So the rest of my day looks like this:

12:20pm - Leave house to pick up three obnoxious but hilarious teenage boys.

12:45pm - Pick up said obnoxious boys.

1:00pm - Go to lunch with said boys and probably laugh my ass off, because that's usually how it goes.

2:00pm - Drive all the boys home.

2:45pm - Pick up Kendra (other afternoon carpool kid) at a different high school.

3:15pm - Pick up Corwin and Taylor (Kendra's little sister) at the elementary school.

3:50pm - Drop off Kendra and Taylor at their house.

4:00pm - Arrive home to a mountain of email and all kinds of other crap that needs to be done.

4:01pm - Probably swear some more.

In the meanwhile, I posted over at Writer's Evolution today about my favorite characters that I didn't write. :) Come on over and let me know what some of yours are.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Bald Face Liar - erhm...Creative Writer Contest

The lovely Lisabet Sarai, tagged me to participate in this harmless liar’s game. I figured why the hell not? I’ll post seven items about me, only TWO of which are true. The others are “little white lies”. Try to figure out which two are true, and leave a comment. Correct guesses will be tossed into a random drawing for a free ebook from my backlist. Winner will be chosen at 8 pm EST on Friday March 12.

Here are the items...in no particular order.

1. I love cowboys.

2. I'm the oldest of eight kids.

3. I've had my appendix out.

4. I sang in a garage band when I was a teenager.

5. I've dyed my hair purple.

6. I can drive a tractor.

7. I was arrested for civil disobedience.

Okay guys, leave me a comment as to which two statements you think are true and I'll post the answers on Friday, along with the winner. Let the guessing begin!

Oh yeah, and I'm tagging

Kris Norris
Mia Watts
Charlotte Stein
Genella deGrey

Why not me?!

So I'm talking to my friend today and the following conversation was had:

Her: So, do you want to hate my husband with me?

Me: I'm game. What's up?

Her: Do you want to know what his sole job is at work today? (The man works making gourmet ice cream that none of the rest of us can afford to eat.)

Me: Will it piss me off?

Her: Definitely.

Me: Bring it.

Her: His sole purpose at work today is to sit and eat chocolate. Piles and piles of chocolate, sent from all around the world. He's going to sit around and stuff his face with expensive chocolate and decide which kinds they're going to use in upcoming flavor creation.

Me: Chocolate...all day.

Her: Oh yeah, baby. Swiss chocolate, German chocolate, dark chocolate, super dark chocolate...it's a fucking chocolate festival and there's none for me!

Me: I am feeling hateful. And also premenstrual.

Her: I know, right?

I feel her pain. I'm cranky, and I think I might have missed my calling. I can't help but think a panel of chocolate testers would be better. I wonder if it's too late for a career change...

The Book Boyfriend - Janna Made Me Do It

The lovely Janna of Erotic Romance Reader tagged me in a Book Boyfriend meme, and seeing as how I live to procrastinate (and I'm finally done cleaning up puke) I'm totally playing.

Here's how this meme goes:

We all have our favorite book boyfriends and now you have the chance to create one just for yourself and your fantasies! How do you play? Fill out the quiz bellow, post a picture of sexy man and tag five (5) other book addicts to do the same. Don't forget to pop to their blogs as let them know they have been tagged!

Once tagged... you have to do the same, grab the button, answer the questions, and keep it rolling! But don't forget the picture of the sexy man! It doesn't have to match your fantasy man, just a little eye candy for the rest of us... heheheee!

1.) Hair style and color - Honestly, I'm open to most styles, however, buzz cuts and mullets need not apply. I do like enough to grab onto, and I prefer men with darker hair.

2.) Eye color and facial features - I'm a sucker for green eyes...or blue...the kind you can get lost in. Le sigh... I like a rugged face with scruff, full-ish, kissable lips, but please, no butt-chin - at least not a big one.

3.) Height and body type - 6' - 6' 2" is a nice height, and I'm going to go on record as saying overly-muscled, body building types creep me the hell out. I always assume, perhaps wrongly, that a guy like that is more interested in spending time watching himself do reps in the mirror at the gym than anything else. I like broad shoulders and tight abs as much as the next girl, but I'd rather see them on a normal looking guy with an athletic build.

I like strong, capable looking hands. I don't mind if they're a little rough or dinged up from working on the house or the car. I like some tattoos - now, I'm talking about tribal work or Celtic knot work - not some ill-conceived and tacky skull, roses and American flag number or scary looking portraiture of a teacup poodle. I'm totally on board with a strategically placed piercing or two.

4.) Visible age - 30-40

5.) Bangability - i.e. kinky/bi/size - First off, I applaud the use of the word, bangability. :D I like 'em straight and more than a little dominant. Hey...it's my imaginary BBF. ;) And size? I'm with Janna...who wants small in this perfect little fantasy?

6.) Human or other - Human or shifter - fey works, not into vamps so much. It's not the biting...it's the living dead part that makes me a little squidgey.

7.) Paranormal skills - the ability to transport us from place to place - makes world travel that much easier. The ability to freeze time would also be badass.

8.) Interests - Wait? You mean besides worshiping me? Okay then, let's see...hot sex, traveling, music - I know it's cliche but I love a guy that can sing and play guitar.

9.) Habitat - Where I am, but I'm so not gonna complain if he's got a castle in Ireland or Wales.

10.) Special skills - Making me laugh (oh, so important), long, slow kisses, book research and knot tying. ;)

I'm tagging:

1. Brynn Paulin
2. Mia Watts
3. Kris Norris
4. Dakota Rebel
5. Charlotte Stein