So I woke up this morning saying WTF?! (I’d like to preface the telling of this dream by saying I in no way hold any ill will toward either Portia Del Rossi or Ellen Degeneres. In fact, I love Ellen.
Okay, back to the regularly scheduled dream insanity.
In my dream, Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi had a baby – unfortunately, Portia died and somehow I was given the task of raising this child. The baby and I had to stay in the hospital while hospital workers tried to extract breast milk from Portia using an Easy Bake Oven and ‘reverse gravity.’ Yeah...don’t ask – I have no clue.
This was no normal baby. He grew from an infant to a toddler overnight. He was incredibly active and kept breaking his only toy. When we’d go to visit Ellen, I mentioned it to her and instead of helping us out by replacing the toy, she just showed me where I could stand in line in the hot, hot sun with a cranky toddler to get it fixed using chewed gum and scotch tape.
Later I took the baby and my other kids to visit my mom – I thought she’d want to meet her new grandson. Instead of her neighbourhood, she now lived at the end of a two-track in the woods. Unfortunately, the road to her house was riddled with piles of hot tar and burning tires so I had to utilize stunt driving techniques I didn’t know I possessed.
When we got there, my brother’s girlfriend was hurling shoes (one of each pair that she owns – which holy cow, in real life is a metric ton – in the dream, it was never ending) at my brother and my mom. She stopped briefly when I came in with the kids, took one look at the baby, screamed and ran away.
So...thoughts? Comments? Apocalyptic prophesies?
Anyone? Anyone at all?
Oh hey!! Don't forget about the Halloween contest! Free books, people! Free books!