Merlin Club: The Poisoned Chalice or The One Where Bron Suddenly Thinks Writing Fan Fic Might be a Good Idea

Jess' recap is here and Jen's is here! And also, Jess has the Merlin Drinking Game post up, so be sure to check that out, too! It's here.

This week's episode of Merlin opens with Nimueh in the ubiquitous cave (DRINK!) hanging out by her magical Baptismal font casting spells and whatnot using a silver chalice and what looks like a piece of clear plastic.

Spoiler Alert: It's not clear plastic as they didn't have plastic at Camelot, but you can be sure they had a crimper because Nimueh still looks like a refugee from a music video from the late 80s.

 (Okay this picture isn't the best for illustrating her anachronistic crimping, but you get the idea.)

Anyhoo... she casts a spell on this chalice and the target is clearly Merlin because a vision of him appears in the font. And also she says his name.

There's a scene change and we're in the Great Hall at Camelot where Uther and his knights meet up with the King of Mercia and all his knights.

We see Nimueh in disguise lurking in the background. You can tell she's in disguise because she has a turban on her head. She's masquerading as a servant. Which seems to be the best way to sneak into Camelot.

She purposely runs into Merlin later in the hallway while carrying a load of what appears to bedding and there's some flirting going on. She introduces herself as Cara then sneaks into the King of Mercia's chamber and switches out his goblet gift with her identical but poisoned one.

Meanwhile Arthur takes great glee in informing Merlin that he has to wear the official ceremonial robes of the servants of Camelot to the upcoming feast.

Behold the hat!

The treaty is signed and Merlin is there with Gwen. Nimueh catches Merlin's eye and Gwen remarks that she's pretty and apparently Merlin agrees a little too enthusiastically and Gwen gets pissy and huffs away.

The King of Mercia presents Uther and Arthur with some nifty, elaborate silver chalices to seal their friendship and all that jazz and Cara/Nimueh calls Merlin out of the Great Hall to tearfully tell him that her master has poisoned Arthur's cup.

Merlin runs in, takes the cup away from Arthur, announces that the goblet is poisoned and everybody draws a blade. Including Morgana which is frankly...pretty hot. (Whatever. I find her attractive. Sue me. And my sister is wrong. Katie McGrath is not hotter as a blonde.)

There's a whole lot of HOW VERY DARE THIS SERVANT BLAH BLAH BLAH  and the take away is that Merlin has to drink the wine and prove whether or not it's poisoned. Arthur does very sweetly try to protect Merlin by suggesting that his drunk, then offers to drink it himself. Merlin won't let him and after some super dramatic music and a moment of thinking everything is cool Merlin starts to choke, falls to the ground and passes out.

Arthur carries Merlin to Gaius' chambers and Gwen grabs the chalice for poison identification purposes. Gaius pretty quickly discovers the flower petal (the one that looked like plastic) and identifies it. He tells Arthur and Gwen that the only chance is making an antidote with a lead of the same flower that poisoned him - the aptly named Mortius flower.

He tells Arthur where to find the flower and that it's guarded by a cockatrice (a super deadly dinosaur looking thing) and Arthur suits up while Nimueh rides on out of Camelot. Uther forbids Arthur from going after the cure saying Arthur's life is worth more than a serving boy's. He's a total asshat. Arthur (disappointingly) goes to his room to pout and Morgana goads him into disobeying the king and saving Merlin. So Arthur rides out in the dead of night to search for the Mortius flower.

Meanwhile Merlin starts speaking Welsh aka magic and Gaius discovers that the poison's potency was increased with the use of magic and suddenly all the pieces click and he realizes that Cara was Nimueh. Apparently turbans are the most effective of disguises.

Uther has a hissy fit when he discovers that Arthur is gone and is discussing it in his chamber with Morgana. The vibe here is definitely *not* of  ward and guardian - they're arguing more like a married couple who's having a disagreement about their teenager.

Meanwhile, Arthur makes it to the cave, handily dispatches the cockatrice and runs into Nimueh who's doing some really bad fake crying and Arthur is all, Yeah, I'll help you. But you're gonna have to wait until I help my buddy. So she offers to lead him through the cave to find the flower. He, being Arthur, doesn't question that she knows what he's looking for. He just blindly follows her in.

He figures out pretty quickly that she's up to no good when she casts a spell and disintegrates the rock he was standing on forcing him to leap to this ledge and hang on with his fingertips.  She says it's not his destiny to die at her hand. Which is frankly bullshit. Because if you destroy the rock ledge that someone is standing on and he falls to his death that death is by your hand, bitch.

She takes off and leaves him to dangle knowing that HUGE HORRIBLE SPIDERS ARE COMING.

He fights them off and just as he's being overwhelmed by the hairy bastards, a glowing orb appears. He thinks that it's there to attack him, but he quickly figures out that it's there to help him. Merlin and Arthur are connected even though Merlin is unconscious and Gaius notices that Merlin is holding an orb in his hand.

Arthur manages to get the flower, make his way out of the cave and ride back to Camelot.

As soon as he hits the drawbridge, he's arrested.
And thrown in the dungeon.
And suddenly...I have the nearly irrepressible urge to write fan fic. It just suddenly...came over me.

Uther comes down to see Arthur to bitch him out for disobeying. Arthur begs him to give the Mortius flower to Gaius to cure Merlin, but Uther, in a fit of epic dickishness, crushes the flower and leaves it on the floor of the dungeon.

Arthur rescues the flower and sneaks it to Gwen when she comes down to bring him food. She races back to Gaius who concocts the fastest acting antidote in the history of ever. He sends Gwen on an errand and uses the forbidden magic in order to save Merlin. Gwen comes back, Merlin wakes up and she kisses him.

I can't say all the things I want to say right here because of spoilers. And hooboy, it is super hard to keep my mouth shut. But know this, dear readers. I am *not* happy. I will say it's not because I ship Arthur and Gwen. It doesn't have anything to do with the source material even. But know that someday soon, I will go off on a tear about this.

Gaius convinces Uther to release the Mercians reveals that Nimueh is behind all this. Gaius asks Merlin if Arthur should be told the truth about Nimueh (and the plot thickens!) Uther and Arthur do a little wrap up on top of the battlements and discuss the mysterious woman in the forest and Uther misses a perfectly good opportunity to come clean with his kid but instead preaches against the evil of magic. But Uther does admit that Arthur did the right thing and that he's proud of him - so parenting points there.

Arthur goes to visit Merlin under the guise of making sure that he's coming back to work because good servants are hard to find. And there's some lovely Merthurness there.

Cut to Nimueh looking furious.

 Okay…now on to the questions!

1.    If I’d written this episode, I would have changed… I would have given Nimueh a bit more of a disguise.

 2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. Really not digging the flirty relationship vibes between Merlin and Gwen, but I can't spoiler that. However, I'll bitch about it in depth later. Loved that Arthur doesn't doubt that his servant's life is as important as his. Yes, he's an ass to Merlin sometimes, but when it counts, he's there for him. 

3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.  The first time I saw this episode, I didn't notice Morgana grabbing the knife at the feast and looking ready to throw down.

4.    Favorite Costume. Someday...I'm gonna make this dress. And the headpiece. This is happening. 

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. Okay look. This first season is rife with sexual tension between Uther and Morgana. I think that they have a thing going on. Or at the very least, they want to. I also think Morgana might have some Daddy Issues. Honestly, since the writers were tossing out so many of the traditional story elements, I wish they just would have gone ahead and made Morgana Uther's queen. That would have been spectacular conflict! But noooooo... Oh right, my flimsy proof is the conversation they have about Arthur.

6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? Merlin moaning Arthur's name while he was all sweaty in bed. .Yes, he was sick, but I'm betting Jess closed her eyes and had other thoughts. 

7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in this episode? The tone of the conversation between Uther and Morgana after Arthur disobeyed and took off. It's not at all ward and guardian-like. 

Three Things I'd Like to Learn to Do in the Relatively Near Future

This week, the lovely Jess Jarman and I are blogging about three things we’d like to learn how to do. And, I’m excited to say that the equally lovely, Leigh Jones will be joining us. You can read Jess’ post here and Leigh’s post here. And welcome to the random Wednesday blogs, Leigh! We're glad you're here!

I resist change like you wouldn’t believe. New version of Word? Nope. I’ll stick with my Word 2007, thanks. New phone? Nah…I’m good. This one still works. Mostly. Switching cable companies? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…I’ll have to learn new channels and a whole. new. remote.

However, (and very strangely, I might add) I like having learned. And I really don’t mind learning things that have nothing to do with technology. Well, I’ll admit, I resisted circular knitting needles *for years*, but I just recently mastered them and they’re totally easy to use. But circular needles aside, I typically like learning new things. 

Here are a few things I’d like to learn how to do in the relatively near future. 

I’d like to actually learn how to read a knitting pattern and make things like this. (Spoiler alert: This pattern will not make any of the things shown below.) Actually, these are sweaters that my mom made for me. Because she's awesome.

I’d like to learn how to grow my own vegetables. And maybe some fruits, too. After spending many summers on both grandparents farms, I feel like I have a handle on picking fruits and veggies (strawberries, beans, blackberries, black and red raspberries, cucumbers, tomatoes, potatoes, corn and allllll the squashes) but other than vague ideas, I’m really not sure how to grow my own. That’s gonna change this summer. This girl is planting a pesticide and GMO-free container garden!

I’d also like to learn to reupholster my own furniture. You see, I like old things. And I like cats.

These two things don’t always go well together. As evidenced by my beautiful, but shredded antique rocker. My cats are kind of bastards.

So those are some of the things I'd like to learn to do. What about you guys? What do you want to learn to do?
 

Merlin Club: The Mark of Nimueh or The One Where “Somebody Poisoned the Waterhole!” (And if you all have Toy Story songs stuck in your head now, I apologize.)

It's time for another installment of Merlin Club! You can see Jess' take on it here. And Jen's here. 

This episode opens in a cave with Nimueh, an attractive young sorceress with brilliant blue eyes (and a bad crimp job) is standing in front of what looks like a Baptismal font making a homely little clay fetus of some sort. 

Then she puts it in a large egg, casts a spell over it in Welsh and the egg begins to pulse and glow with life. Then she flushes it down the Baptismal font and it shoots through the ground water system like it’s a pod in one of those vacuum tubes at the bank and ends up in a cistern under Camelot. It starts to crack open and Nimueh finishes her spell. 

In the next scene we see Merlin and Gaius checking out a dead body laying in the middle of an alley in Camelot. The corpse is all gray with black veins. They load the dude up in a wheelbarrow that they just “borrow” from some poor peasant’s place and my kid chooses this point to look at the screen and immediately starts calling, “Bring out your dead.” And the other one hollers from the other room, “I’m not dead yet.” And chaos descends upon my house as the rest of the scene is reenacted because that’s what happens when you let your children watch Monty Python during their formative years. 

Back to Merlin. After Gwen gives her father his lunch for the day, she runs into Merlin and flirts with him a bit, gives him a flower and goes on her merry way to Morgana’s chambers where we see again that Morgana is actually good friends with her chamber maid. Merlin and Gaius study the corpse they brought home with them and Arthur summons them both to the King. And we see the opposite of Morgana and Gwen’s relationship in Arthur’s interaction with Merlin. Arthur is incredibly hot, but he’s kind of an asshat for 88% of the first season.

There’s another gray veiny body in Uther’s room where he does king things. (I can’t think of what that room is called because I’m mostly frozen and I cannot brain.) Gaius suggests that it’s SORCERY and Uther sends Arthur out on a door to door search through the town to root out the evil sorcerer. Merlin and Gaius head out, too and Merlin stumbles across a dying man and wants to use magic to cure him, but Gaius is all NO! SCIENCE! 

Gaius has mad autopsy skills and is able to test the contents of the first victim’s stomach. Meanwhile, Arthur and his knights bust in and start searching the room for evidence of magic. Arthur goes into Merlin’s room and calls Merlin in there. There’s some concern on the part of Gaius and Merlin because Merlin doesn’t pick up shit and they both know his spell book is likely lying around. Arthur goes into Merlin’s room and calls him in there, saying “Look what I found.” Spoiler alert – it was a cupboard to put away his shit. Not the magic book. But you know, moment of tension. Merlin and Gaius argue some more about Merlin wanting to use magic to cure people. 

Arthur tells Uther that he hasn’t found anything to identify any sorcerers. Merlin and Gaius figure out that the disease is water-bourn. Gwen wakes her father and discovers he has the sickness. Merlin demands to be allowed to heal Gwen’s dad. Gaius predictably says no. Merlin sneaks out that night and places a little poultice thingy under Gwen’s dad’s pillow and poof he’s healed. 

Hearing about the miracle the next morning, Arthur and his nights come to investigate and it’s determined that Gwen used magic to heal her father since she was the only one there with him. Gwen is arrested and thrown into the dungeon because she’s clearly the sorcerer that’s causing all the trouble.

Side note: Arthur is particularly hot in this episode. 

Anyhoo Uther sentences Gwen to death by fire and Morgana argues with him about it. And Arthur defends Gwen, too. It goes nowhere, because, well, you know how Uther is about magic. Gaius gets his angry face on with Merlin about healing Gwen’s father and Merlin figures out that yeah, that was a bad move. But here’s what I don’t get. WHY would Merlin leave the damn thing under Gwen’s father’s pillow. He knows they’re searching the town for magic-y things. Bad move, wizard boy. 

So now Gwen is in the dungeon, Merlin is vowing to save her. Merlin goes to Uther’s king type room where he’s doing king type things with his council members and confesses to being the sorcerer. There’s a pregnant pause and everyone laughs. Arthur immediately jumps into action to protect Merlin and explains that Merlin is in love with Gwen and also mentally ill. Of course, everyone believes him. So Merlin is left to figure something out.

Merlin and Gaius go on an adventure to find out what’s contaminating the water. They discover an Afanc – the clay creature who’s not a fetus anymore. It’s big and ugly and plague-y. Merlin goes to the dragon to get advice and gets riddles instead because the dragon gets off on being cryptic. But he hints that Merlin and Arthur must work together and use the elements. 

Gwen’s execution is moved forward because a ton of people are dying. Morgana gets Arthur to help with some well placed snark and they go with Merlin down to the water supply to search for the Afanc. Happily, they have torches and when the creature attacks Merlin uses his magic to suck some wind down into the tunnel and increase the flames to destroy the Afanc. Nimueh has a tantrum. 

After the Afanc’s destruction, people start getting better. Gaius brings Uther the Afanc’s broken egg and points out that it bears the mark of Nimueh. Uther flips shit. Merlin and Morgana go down to the dungeon to release Gwen. And Morgana tells him that she knows his secret. He of course thinks she’s talking magic. But she’s talking Gwen. 

The episode closes with Merlin and Gaius eating a ridiculous amount of food for two people and Nimueh deciding that she’s going to take Merlin down. Cue tense music for next week’s episode.

 Okay…now on to the questions!

1.    If I’d written this episode, I would have changed… Honestly? This is so petty, but I would have taken the crimper away from the hair stylist.  I can't take a villain seriously who employs crimping as a style choice.

2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. The thing I hated was the love/hate flirtyesque banter between Morgana and Arthur because of later revelations. The thing I loved was how Arthur defended Gwen to his father and gave some thought to his own future as the King of Camelot.

3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.  The first time I saw this episode, I didn't notice that the poultice was still all glowy when the knight picked it up from Gwen's father's bed.

4.    Favorite Costume. I'm gonna go with Arthur's casual prince wear - long leather coat, breeches, boots...le sigh.

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. Yeah...I know. I'm lame. I still have nothing. :/

6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? The lovely meaningful look shared by Merlin and Arthur when Arthur tried to protect Merlin by convincing everyone that Merlin is all kinds of crazypants. 

7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in this episode? I'm gonna guess it was when Merlin uses magic to save Gwen's father but can't be arsed to take care of the evidence.

Apps! Glorious apps!

This week, Jess Jarman and I are blogging about our favorite apps. Jess' post is here. Check out here addictions.

Oh, so many apps, but I’ll try to narrow it down to my absolute favorites. These aren’t really in any particular order, but I use them all daily. 

Shop Shop – Okay, so this is a glorified shopping list – however, it keeps my brain straight. In my family, if there’s something that you need me to pick up from the store, you’d best go to my phone and enter it in the Shop Shop app, otherwise, mama’s not getting it. 

However, having your shopping list on your phone can cause some issues. Once I was shopping and I was being one of those annoying people who talks on their phone in the store. Well, I was pushing my cart and chatting and I started looking all over for my list. My list that was on my phone. As I frantically digging through my purse, I said to my friend, “Shit! I can’t find my phone!” Friend, also clearly not thinking says, “Oh my gosh! When did you have it last?” It took us both almost another thirty seconds to realize that I was holding it. Up to my ear. 

Yeah…so there’s that. This is my current list. As you can see, Killian would really like me to buy some bacon.

Nature Sound – This is one I primarily use on my iPad at night. It’s an app that has over a hundred different nature and white noise sounds. It’s also got a soundboard where you can mix sounds. I *need* white noise in order to fall asleep. It’s usually a mix of rain, thunder and crackling fire. This app is amazing and I love it. Yeah, it’s simple, but dude, I love to sleep, and this helps me do that.

Words With Friends – Yeah…okay. It’s glorified Scrabble, but I love it. It’s relaxing and a lovely way to start my morning while I’m waiting for hubs to get out of the shower. 

Kindle – I. Love. My. Kindle. App. LOVE IT. I have hundreds of books on there. I can read whatever I’m in the mood for whenever I want. Okay, that’s a lie. I can’t read while I’m driving. And it’s a terrible idea for me to read while I’m cooking because bad food things happen to supper. 

Dropbox – This is especially handy for sending photos from my phone to my computer. It makes my life so much easier. 

 

Pinterest – I adore Pinterest – it’s great stress relief for me to look at pretty places and things. Sometimes I need a little stress relief while I’m waiting in the never ending car pool lane, so it’s great to have this on my phone and iPad. 

Tumblr – See above. 

Facebook – Also see above. Seriously...I hate being bored. 

Twitter – I like to be able to connect even if I’m not home. 

Interval Timer Seconds – It’s a fabulous tabata timer for exercising. God knows *I* can’t count, so I rely on my phone to do it for me. 

T-Zero – I’m a huge fan of countdowns. I love them. T-Zero is fabulous little countdown timer that counts days, months, hours, minutes and seconds. For instance, according to T-Zero, in 136 Days: 11 Hours: 52 Minutes and 12 Seconds I’ll be at the best writers retreat on the planet. 

 So...what are your favorite apps? Which ones do you use everyday.