8th Grade Science, I Hate You Already

Tuesday was the first day of school. Not only was it the first day of school, it was also the day that the first big project of the year was handed out.

The Bug Project of Doom (Okay, I added the "of doom" part, but the bugs, that's all the science teacher, who's clearly a fucking sadist. But more on that in a bit.)

So for two hours today, I helped Corwin catch bugs (read: squealed and pointed) and so did Killian and Brynn's oldest son. They were awesome. Well, except for the part where they scared the hell out of me with this HUGE ASS SPIDER. And they discovered for themselves what kind of freak I am. I'm pretty sure the neighbors thought I was being murdered. The boys felt bad and hugged me. Apparently, they've never heard me make that noise before.

This is the evil spider... It's in a sandwich container and it's spider-y butt is about the size of a nickel. Too damn big in my opinion. Two words. Satan's Snowflake.

But I digress. So the boys collected other bugs and sealed them in their tupperware containers. Luckily, they found seven of the ten required. The spider was a bonus. An evil bonus.

Before I tell you this next part, you need to understand something about Corwin. He's really softhearted. When he was little, he wouldn't step on ants like his classmates, he'd protect them and try to build elaborate houses for them out of leaves and sticks. He's got the biggest heart of anyone I know. He loves animals and can't stand to see anything or anyone mistreated. Today, I learned that that love extends to bugs, too.

Part of this damn assignment is to kill the bugs so they can be mounted on a board and displayed for a grade. The methods are freezing and a cotton ball soaked with nail polish remover. Well, I don't wear nail polish, so there's no remover in this house. So freezing it would have to be.

I knew there would be a problem when he said to me from the backseat, "This grasshopper looks like he's thinking 'I get to go home after this, right?'" The commentary about the grasshopper continued off and on on the way home and by the time he had to put the bugs in the freezer, he was really upset about having to "murder them."

I was torn between telling him we'd just deal with the bad grade and he didn't have to do it and worrying that that would could turn into a habit of avoiding difficult tasks because he doesn't want to do them. By the time we made it home, most of the bugs were dead because of lack of oxygen. But not that grasshopper. No...of course not. He had to put it in the freezer.

We both realize that the coming autumn would have killed these bugs anyway. But that's different than being the one to do it. I get that 95% of 8th graders could care less about freezing a grasshopper to death. But then there are the 5% who want nothing to do with taking a life. Should they be made to? Did I fail him as a parent for not speaking up in time and saying, "Fuck the project."

I think I might have.

All I know is that I have a sad kid who's racked with guilt and keeps looking balefully at the freezer.

How did this happen?

The first week of school is almost over and so far, so good.

I can't quite believe it, but Killian, my oldest started high school on Tuesday. I swear it was just a month ago that I tearfully sent him off to kindergarten and now suddenly he's a high school freshman. High. School. How is that even possible? So far, he's loving it. One of his first assignments was to write about an important lesson that he'd learned. He chose to write about Karma - I was delighted. I'm interested to see what kind of a grade he gets on it.

My youngest, Corwin, just started fifth grade. He's had a bit of a rough summer. He had to get glasses and braces within several weeks of each other, but he's kept a pretty positive attitude about things. He's excited to be back in class with his friends, but he did mention that he hopes his table mate doesn't bring cow tongue sandwiches this year. GUH! I don't blame him! He and his friends have started planning their Halloween costumes already. He's also planning his first snow fort of the season - in great detail. He's got diagrams and maps and attack and escape routes. I just hope we get enough snow for him to build it all.

My baby sister, Caitlin, just started her senior year of college. I can still hear her little three year old voice announcing that my wedding was "booooooooooooooorrrrrring" and that she had to "peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee right now!" during the ceremony. (Think lots of marble and high, vaulted ceilings - I think everyone heard that she had to go.) I'm not sure how enough time has passed that she's gone from a flower girl to a soon-to-be college graduate, but it has.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day insanity of life, I forget to stop and just enjoy the people around me. I know it's a cliche, but time really does go fast -- except when you're in a traffic jam and you have to pee, but other than that, it seems like it whips by at warp speed. I hope that I remember these present moments with the people that I love as well as I remember the past ones.

Time to make some new memories and write another book.