My Child, the Medieval Weapons Specialist

We're a Nerf family. I can tell you the differences between the Nerf Longstrike, the Recon and the Raider Rapid Fire CS-35. I'm not entirely convinced this is something I should be proud of, but I live in a house full of people who think nothing of ambushing one another from around corners, on the stairs or from beneath the dining room table, so it's important to know what's going on.

The cats think the guns were designed for them to play hi-tech games of pounce and fetch. It's not unusual for me to wake up in the middle of the night with a cat chasing a little foam dart on top of my bed, or a cat dropping a dart on my face because he wants to play fetch at 3 am.

You cannot imagine the level of unbridled joy experienced in my home when it was discovered that Nerf not only makes every size and shape dart gun imaginable, but has also branched out into melee weapons. Seriously, it was like the second coming around here.

Christmas brought many new Nerf additions into our home. And all of them accompanied Corwin to an overnight birthday party yesterday. He was beyond thrilled when he found a mace for the birthday boy. I dropped off Corwin with the mace, 3 swords, 3 shields, a battle ax, a tomahawk and an apology.

It's not often that I feel the need to beg forgiveness before my child even crosses the threshold of someone's house. But as he bounced from foot to foot babbling about hand to hand combat and the benefits of blades vs. blunt weapons, it seemed necessary. Luckily, Corwin's been BFFs with this kid for the last eight years and he's basically the same make, different model as my kid, so I knew his parents wouldn't be too bent. Still, the kid's mom looked a little relieved when I showed up to pick up Corwin and his weapons cache this afternoon, leaving her kid brandishing his new mace on the stairway. I like to think of it as spreading the joy. Yeah, I know. I'm probably going to hell for okaying that birthday gift.