Friday, August 20, 2010

More appealing than peanut butter

Yes, I am more appealing than peanut butter - but more on that in a minute.

Today, while trying to work on my WIP, I considered muzzling my youngest son and locking him in a closet.

Corwin: I know you're trying to work, but do you think we'd survive the zombie apocalypse? How would we kill them? I mean, it's not like we have tactical nukes just lying around. Do you think the Marines have special zombie killing training? Do you think cats would be an effective fighting force against zombies? What if cats were zombies? Would zombie cats purr? I bet it would be more of a meow-moan. Meo-oooan, meo-oooan, meo-oooan. (Sound effects complete with shambling around my work area.) I wonder if zombies would like the smell of salt and vinegar potato chips or if it would repel them like it does my brother.

Me: *blink blink blink* (typing exchange along with muzzling and closet threat to Brynn via IM) Tactical nukes are always a bad idea - even for zombies.

Brynn helpfully sent back a list of responses to Corwin's questions.

1.) Don't give them brains. Barring that, decapitation.
2.) Zombies, Al Qaeda, very similar. No special training needed.
3.) No to the cats. They do what they want and leave you in the lurch. (Actually, she originally typed lunch before correcting it - Freudian/Zombie slip?
4.) No, they growl.
5.) Yes, they like it - especially on your breath because it's close to your brain.

Brynn: Betcha didn't think I knew all this.

Me: I'm impressed. And deeply surprised.

Brynn: This is why I'll survive the zombie apocalypse. I've been tested. I know. And were sacrificed. They like you more than peanut butter.

Me: There's a test? What test is this?

Brynn: One I took on Facebook about six months ago.

Me: Huh. I do like to think I'm more appealing than peanut butter...

Brynn: I haz teh zombie knowledge.

Corwin is still shambling around the room holding Willow (who's looking mighty confused) and saying Meo-oooan, meo-oooan, meo-oooan, meo-oooan.

Yeah...this book is moving right along.


Jenny Trout said...

You need to just direct him to that article to allay his fears. And tell him to ready his corpse rake.

Brynn Paulin said...

LOL, I said lunch on purpose. Let me know if you need more "helpful" knowledge.

Chris said...

Via Smart Bitches - how long would your relationship survive the zombie apocalypse?

Anonymous said...

Oh, Lord, that cracks me up!

My son swears by the zombie apocalypse. He's 21 and an ex-marine.


Kris Norris said...

Okay, after endless hours of watching the kids play Left For Dead (1 and 2) and surviving through films like Zombieland, you can tell Corwin all he needs to do is play a few rounds of said game and he'll survive just fine...

1) Double Tap... yes I agree with the kid from Zombieland... always make sure you double kill the corpse...bullets are cheap people.

2) Weapons like axes, baseball bats and chain saws are highly under-rated... got couple in the shed... just in case.

3) When all else fails, you just have to make sure some poor slob int he group runs slower than you :)

AS for the peanut butter... you are sooo more appealing... though Sydney's not too sure if that holds true for Nutella.


Regina Carlysle said...

HAHAHHAHAHa. The kid has been watching too many zombie movies.

Brynn, you are obviously a genius.

Mia Watts said...

OMG. Don't know whether or not to laugh harder because I TOTALLY followed his line of thought or because I can see him doing exactly that questioning ramble along with either Willow held up as a zombie gun or holding a zombie gun.

I miss ur boyz.

Word Ver: locknest. Which either means he can survive by locking himself in a safety nest of anti-zombitude OR that the Loch Ness monster is spawning. Not sure which.

Mia Watts said...

And also... Chris at stumbling has obscure answers to EVERYTHING

Chris said...

Mia: It's a gift. Or a curse. :)

Tessie Bradford said...

The biggest mistake humans make in all zombie attacks is forgetting our greatest asset - the abilty to run!! Zombies, in all their decaying glory, are NOT speedy creatures. If we keep our wits about us, and run like the dickens, we will eventually be able to band together and defeat them!

Lisabet Sarai said...

Hey, Bron,

You might not be getting much done on your latest WIP, but you sure are entertaining your friends...!


Gabrielle Lee said...

LOL I'm glad I am not the only one with such an inquizative young one.And now I have some of the answers I need.


Margaret Yang said...

I just love glimpses into life in your household. I thought I was the only one interrupted by weird kid questions.

("All phones used to come with cords? Really, Mom? Then how did you run away from the dinosaurs?")

And Brynn Paulin? Clearly the font of all knowledge and way smarter than me. Peanut butter! Who knew?

Anna Mayle said...

I think that is the most adorable thing I've ever heard. I can visualize it perfectly and completely understand your *blink blink* moment. ^_^ As usual, thank you so much for sharing!

Anny Cook said...

Good to know I'm prepared with my baseball bat, my ax, my peanut butter AND my nutella. Oh, yeah. My hairspray (heard it's good for blinding 'em.

Sigh. Don't have any tactical nukes, but I DO have pet Febreeze...

Brynn, I bow down to you, girl...