Wish I'd Had Teachers Like These

I don't know what kind of teachers you all had in school, but mine left a lot to be desired. Here are a few examples.

Miss D. - the English teacher/cheerleading coach who pronounced the W in sword and couldn't diagram a sentence to save her life.

Mr. C. - the Church History teacher who let the football players sleep in class to rest up for the games.

Mr. S. - the Social Studies teacher/swim coach whose idea of a curriculum was having students read articles aloud from Newsweek magazine. This is was we did every day for a year. Also, he'd hang his terrifyingly teeny tiny speedo from the classroom window. You couldn't not look at it. It was just there.

Sister Pearl Mary - the Major World Religion teacher who insisted that there might be "perfectly lovely" people of other religions, but they were "all going to Hell."

Sister Rosine - the Old Testament teacher who made me stand up and say to the class, "I'm the bride of Satan" because I was wearing red nail polish. (This was my first experience with Catholic schooling...I wasn't impressed.)

Sister Florentine - the Algebra nun who was a notorious ear twister.

Sister Clarine - the Biology teacher whom I genuinely adored, but the woman wore six foot boa constrictors. There's nothing more disconcerting that seeing a nun in a habit draped with huge snakes. Disturbing on levels I didn't know existed.

Sister Mary Projector - okay, that wasn't her real name and she wasn't really a teacher. I can't remember her name for the life of me. All day long, she walked the halls pushing the squeaky film strip projector cart...and never delivered it anywhere. I followed her one day and she just walked up and down the halls all day. I suspect Sister Michael Ellen, the library nun gave Sister MP a room number that didn't exist just to keep her out of her hair.

Now for some teachers I wish I'd had.

One of my daycare kids is taking a field trip to the Underworld. Her seventh grade class is studying the myth of Persephone, so Mr D. is transforming his classroom into the Underworld. I'm guessing there will be pomegranates for all.

My oldest son is in the eighth grade. His teacher, Ms. D. is absolutely amazing. She connects with the kids like no one I've ever seen. This is the woman who when there's a kid appropriate concert in town, she'll accompany the kids who want to go as a chaperon. She created a Parent Awareness Night for the school where all the kids researched topics that affect teenagers like underage drinking, eating disorders, drug abuse, mental illness, AIDS, etc and then presented their findings to the parents. It was fabulous. Right now, the kids are studying the fantasy genre and every day, five different kids get to draw from the bag of Super Powers to add a little fantasy to their everyday lives.

If s/he gets Power of the Mind, s/he blows on a recorder and she gives him/her a typed page of whatever needed to be written for the class period and s/he doesn't have to write.

If s/he gets Time Travel, s/he can travel back in time and change a missing assignment.

If s/he gets d Perfectionist, s/he will wear a cape and be considered perfect and complimented by everyone in class. S/he could say the grass was perfect and everyone would agree and compliment the wisdom of the wearer of the cape.

If s/he gets Technological Genius, s/he gets to wear a special headband and listen to music while you are in class.

If s/he gets Invisibility, s/he wears special sunglasses and no matter what s/he does, the class will not notice.

These kids are excited about what they're learning and are loving what they're reading. Luckily, I had a great mom who told me tales of King Arthur and Greek Myths as bedtime stories and inspired me. I'm not even going to get started on the Wildly Inappropriate Lullabies... My hope is that every child has at least one teacher who inspires them.