Not Everyone Loves a Clown

So yesterday, I had lit circle. I've been having some trouble connecting with them. Part of it is very few of them are actually friends so they don't feel as comfortable sharing as the kids in my last group. Also, they all like different genres so trying to engage them all in a single story has been exhausting. But...I finally did it! Inventing Elliot by Graham Gardener was the answer! They're all over this book.

When we met yesterday, we talked about Phoebe Price, the girl who hanged herself because of being tormented by bullies, and bullying in general. We discussed the case and how the worst of her bullies are facing charges and what could have been done to make a difference in Phoebe's life. I told them about the articles I read and how the single most effective action to curtail bullying wasn't parents or teachers, it was the response of peers. Bridget, one of the girls said, "But we don't have any power."

I told her that they had the most power in situations like this. No one wants to be disapproved of by their peers and that by condemning the action of a bully (not the person) they actually help to end the bullying behavior because then the bully experiences the disapproval.
These kids are lucky. Their school really does have a zero tolerance policy regarding bullies, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Bridget, who's relatively new to the school says it's way better than her old school, but she still sees it occasionally.

So for the next two weeks, all seven kids are conducting an experiment. If they see someone being bullied, they're going to stand up for the kid in question. The cool thing is, they all seem genuinely excited about trying the experiment. They're going to take notes and we'll be discussing it during our next lit circle session. I talked to the teachers and they're excited too. Will it stop all bullying in the school? I doubt it. Will it show these kids that they do have power to help change things? I sure as hell hope so.

After lit circle, I was feeling pretty good, and I walked back into the office to sign out. Oh what a mistake! After I checked out, I turned around and squealed. Loudly. Because there behind me, talking in a totally normal voice to one of the secretaries was a fucking clown! Green hair, hat with a flower, full-on clown makeup and ginormo red shoes. Apparently his kid had forgotten his lunch at home.

Of course both the secretaries frowned at me and the principal, vice principal and the guidance counselor all stuck their heads out of their doors to see WTF. The clown glowered me. Angry man face underneath eerily happy clown face is beyond creepy. Seriously, the stuff that nightmares are made of. Needless to say, my happy lit circle high dissipated rather quickly.

Things That Piss Me the Hell Off

First off, I apologize for being a bad blogger - I've been sick with a cruddy cold complements of my kids, but I figured no one wanted to listen to me whine about being sick. Hell, I don't want to listen to me whine about being sick.

However, I'm about to have a rant. An epic rant.

On January 14th, Phoebe Price, a high school student from Massachusetts hanged herself after suffering three months of intense bullying from classmates.

Phoebe and her family recently emigrated to the US from Ireland and she began attending South Hadley High School. You can read the whole horrible story here. Actually, it's not the whole story - only Phoebe knows that and clearly, it was enough to kill her.

From all accounts she was tormented in classrooms, in the library and on the way home from school. And if that wasn't enough, they continued the harassment over Facebook, Twitter, and Craigslist. Good to know those kids had all their bases covered. There's nothing better than organized abuse. Well done, kids. These same kids, btw, have left hateful messages on Phoebe's memorial page on Facebook. Way to keep it classy, kids.

Even more spectacular is the mom of one of the bullies. She blames the victim for starting it. Right. Let's blame the dead girl. I just love the blame the victim mentality. Furthermore, she says that her daughter isn't responsible for Phoebe's death because her daughter didn't physically assault Phoebe - only called her names. Yeah, that makes it so much better. We all know that psychological abuse is so much easier to take than physical abuse. Way to be an awesome parent, lady.

Supposedly, this school as an anti-bullying policy. I'm guessing it didn't work all that well since other students have dropped out of the school because of abuse aimed at them. Phoebe's mom and other kids' parents called begging the school for help. A couple kids were suspended, but that was it. Obviously, it didn't do shit to quell the harassment. According to the articles, teachers and administrators knew exactly what was going on and witnessed a large amount of the bullying. They. Did. Nothing. Witnesses have come forward to say that on the last day of Phoebe's life, a teacher watched kids harass her in the school library. Watched it and let it continue.

What. The. Fuck?!

Nine of the bullies are being indicted for driving Phoebe to her death. Good.

However, none of the teachers or administrators are being called out on allowing it to happen. Not a one. I think that's bullshit. Adults are supposed to protect kids - especially, adults in an educational setting. I wish the D.A. would revamp the charges to include teachers and administrators.

I know that bullying has always been a part of school. I've seen it happen and I've had it happen to me a time or two. But that doesn't make it okay. Ever.

Ultimately, Phoebe is the one who made the choice to end her life, but I can't help but think that this situation might have had a different outcome if she'd had some support. I'm not talking about her family - they tried. I'm talking about adults that allowed this behavior to go virtually unchecked. I'm guessing that the internet bullying would have been out of their jurisdiction, but they could have done something about what was taking place in the school itself.

No matter how this ends, Phoebe will still be dead and her family will still be miserable. However, my hope is that by calling national attention to this horror, that kids will think twice about tormenting another kid and that school officials will be swift to act on behalf of those being bullied.